As I close my eyes, who should fill my skies?
Lift me off my feet, every-time we meet.
My soul softly cries, when I hear your sighs.
Kisses ignite heat, you are my hearts beat.
Share life's dance with me, forever we'll be.
Your eyes shine with light. In the dark of night,
you lay next to me in loves ecstasy.
The strength of loves might, with you here feels right.
Finding love in you, happiness shines through.
You are still the one, gleaming with the sun.
Never to feel blue with our love so true.
Forsake you for none, hand in hand we run.
Your love makes me sing, feels like I'm dancing.
Happiness you bring when you wear my ring.
Author notes
Dedicated to Elizabeth with all my heart and soul, I love you.
For the record I hate forms
Your task is:
Theme: Love and romance.
First Line: As I close my eyes, who should fill my skies?
Form: Tetrameter Sonnet
14 lines decasyllabic
Meter: anapest iamb anapest iamb (xx/ x/ xx/ x/)
Rhyme Schema: Internal rhyme on syllables 5 and 10 of each line
abab cdcd efef gg
Artwork: Dance Bougival by Renoir
http://www.wisdomportal.com/Romance/DanceBougival(375x720).jpg
Restrictions: No dark, no sensual or hardcore erotica.
A contest entry
- Evil Minds Have Plotted against LuckynSincere, LadyDementia, ArkBear and Ktulu Blackwolfe only. by Ceridwens Soul.
1000 points, ended November 13, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Aww... So sweet...
Sounds like it was a hard challenge but you pulled it off beautifully & gained a well deserved bronze shiny into the bargain...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Brilliant
I'll bet you're feeling EXTRA anxious on your results, huh? STAY TUNED... =) -
Buwahahaha
The King of dark erotica can write smushie wuv stuff hehehe
i'm sorry, its actually extremly well written, not that i expected anything else
you did an amazing job with this,
well done to you!!
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Aww....Mr. Wolf.....you makin this bear sigh****
Much different from what I've seen of your talent in the past.....but you're a very talented Poet....I expected no less from you.....you did the Prompt justice
Nice Form....executed well.....now, THIS, is one Form which I adore....lots to ponder while scripting it out.......I have nothing here to critique
Good luck in the Challenge....God bless you,
Bear ~
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Thank you very much Bear, i must admit this was quite the challenge to write this form.
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I knew inside that dark old exterior there was a mushy puppy yapping.
Meter and form is well handled and despite your protests my friend you do it well, bloody well. Come over to the form and meter side more often you might grow to enjoy it. I did. Certain poems we have both shadowed are in strict meter (you do not like them, try them try them and you may).
I am sure Rose will love this, and not just because its you who wrote the words, I know how you feel for her and its awesome to see it in poetry.
Finally thank you for bringing one of my favourite works of art to life... now will you do that Dali piece????
Love and light to You and Yours my friend
Jem xxx
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Thank you for the comment....what Dali piece?
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This is a great form and very well written, A lot of forms are very hard to do and this one really does seem like a hard one... Great to see that it was loved by who it was for...
Cheers
Jen
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Wow... This is so sickeningly-sweet that I nearly puked
You've done a great job on the form, and I know that Elizabeth will love it!
Two minor details:
-"you are my hearts beat" (hearts should be heart's)
-"The strength of loves might" (loves should be love's)
I know you hate forms; I feel much the same way, but I'm sure that you will find (as my good friend Cricketjeff pointed out to me) that they help us with our free-versing.
Well done! Your scores will be posted upon the closing of this contest
Best wishes,
Laura
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Beautiful... it makes me smile!!
it makes me feel light and amazing...haha
Good Luck! -
My love this is so wonderful I thank you for this and I think you did a great job with the form I know how much you hate them but your words are all that matters to me I love you dearly and good luck with the challenge.
Elizabeth
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Aww this is beautiful! Such a tender and loving dedication. You have rose to the challenge superbly! The form looks fantastic And hard! Excellent work, good luck
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you have NOOOO idea how hard this form was. Although the word flow easy when from the heart. -
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At least something was easy then hey! All mine is icky
Form, theme, the works! Still got an evil plot a foot, that I may pull if needed
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A challenge extremely well met I'd say, well done
Great stuff.
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Thank you Jeff.
Glad to know this came out correctly. As I am not a fan of writing in form..
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Pat,
This is stunning! I love that you really took a hold of your challenge and made it yours. Elizabeth is so blessed to be surrounded by your love as you are to have her
LOVE??? Don't see that enough from you
This is going to make Elizabeth MELT!!!!!
Mel
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Thank you Mel,
I do hope that she likes this...it was brutal trying to write this form as is.
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Form?! Can't wait to read this, good luck
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Yea, I got to write it first.....I HATE FORM...
LOL
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You got it...
Your task is:
Theme: Love and romance.
First Line: As I close my eyes, who should fill my skies?
Form: Tetrameter Sonnet
14 lines decasyllabic
Meter: anapest iamb anapest iamb (xx/ x/ xx/ x/)
Rhyme Schema: Internal rhyme on syllables 5 and 10 of each line
abab cdcd efef ggArtwork: Dance Bougival by Renoir
http://www.wisdomportal.com/Romance/DanceBougival(375x720).jpg
Restrictions: No dark, no sensual or hardcore erotica.
Good luck
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this is definately going to be a challenge..lol
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well we were told to challenge the judges ... job done!
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