True friendship..... a potent mixture,
part understanding, part misunderstanding,
...continually stirred;
selflessness and selfishness folded in,
shaken after shivers of ice are added
right before love is poured over.
a concoction hard to swallow sometimes,
yet as it passes the heart it tends to sweeten,
so it's not too difficult to stomach..
My dear friend I will toast you,
to me you're like a fine wine
or the most delicious chocolate shake,
though I taste like Castor oil at times
be patient.....
there is a root beer float deep down inside for you,
when on some hot day it really counts....
but in the meantime.....
I pray to quench your friendship like you do mine!
Author notes
i wrote this poem to my sister in law who puts up with me so lovingly
A contest entry
- From depths so seldom touched. by xJustifiablyMex.
625 points, ended November 2, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
There are some punctuation issues in this piece, for example,
"..." - an ellipse is only 3 dots.
There are some original ideas in your opening stanza, but I feel they are slighlty overshadowed by cliche too.
I felt that there was a lack of cohesion between your stanzas.
Your imageries are good, but I feel you could've taken this somewhat deeper.
Thankyou for entering my contest.
Just Me : -
Very creative! A great way to discribe the relationship between you two. Love the metephor of stirring and the flavors.
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