Stars and hearts,
rainbows and butterflies.
I made a wish and
it came true today.
Oh, star girl,
you’re my stardust,
you’re my every hope and dream,
everything I love, me personified.
I took a walk down Ocean Avenue today,
grabbed a pack of chips and munched my way
down to the edge of the pier,
drinking in the salty sea wind blowing in my face.
Hopes and fears,
friends and enemies.
I didn’t want to believe it
but it happened all the same.
Oh, lover boy,
you’re the fiery flame,
you’re my only waking desire,
everything I loved, all in you.
I caught a bus to Chinatown,
shoved my way through the crowd and
made it just in time for the matinee show,
sinking back into the lumpy seat to watch you.
Truths and lies,
thoughts and memories.
I thought it was all over,
but apparently not.
Oh, silly fool,
you’re my sole regret,
my plaguing nightmare,
everything I hated, came from you.
I sat the night-ride to our old haunt,
staring out the windows up at the empty sky,
wondering about anything and thinking of everything,
and maybe, wishing you were here too.
A contest entry
- SAD Poetry--- Let Me Have Your Best by Ativan.
900 points, ended November 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I liked your imagery. I noticed the Yellowcard reference, very creative
I like this one

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This is such a creative write! I liked it very much, but as stated before me, there are places that sounded rough and read like a story rather than as a poetry. It was a great write though, I enjoyed reading it.

~Noor
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It is very detailed and descriptive. I really enjoyed this aspect of the poem. I think it should be a bit more poetic. Some lines read a little roughly and the stanzas were at times a little awkward. However, I like the story you tell and once more, the detail is fabulous. Good job- keep writting.



