If I WERE your girl-friend, I would clamour
For you to take a course in English grammar,
And (to be more specific) that you should
Master the use of the subjunctive mood!
A contest entry
- if i was your boy by wolfpuppy.
400 points, ended October 26, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO COMMENT - but if you do comment, please understand that it may be some time before I can respond
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Subjunctive, it would seem to me,
is something, I insist, that be
'prehended with dexterity,
with fine finesse and mastery,
for if he were to oft demean
(the boyfriend in this piece, I mean)
the subtle use of this fine mood,
I wonder, then, what else he would
decide to alter or misuse--
what other things might he abuse
among these grammar rules of ours?
Would he then pass his idle hours
by "talkin' good" and "speakin' right?"
The very thought fills me with fright!
I loved this humorous piece. I liked the use of the word play by using the English subjunctive properly in the poem. English subjunctive is rather tricky to learn, particularly for people who aren't native speakers, inasmuch as in many cases it appears to be identical to the indicative mood. Some languages, like Spanish, have an entirely different conjugation altogether for the subjunctive, more than one, in fact, but English's is rather subtle. Keep it up!
Dan
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Feisty Ms. Rich. You are funny.
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ok odd
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If I were Lord of Tartary,
Myself, and me alone,
My bed should be of ivory,
Of beaten gold my throne;
And in my court should peacocks flaunt,
And in my forests tigers haunt,
And in my pools great fishes slant
Their fins athwart the sun.
If I was Lord of Tartary ?
Just doesn't ring as true
It isn't put subjunctively
(The proper thing to do)
So let's all write gramatically
It makes for better verse
And that's the way that poems should be
(Although I've read much werse)
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Very well said!!!
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Many decades ago I learned a rule that "if" does not take the subjunctive, but is a substitute for it; thus "if I was you" equates to "were I you". "If" + subjunctive had, I was told, grown from (mis)usage. But I'll be damned if I can find that rule anywhere. On the contrary, every book of grammar I have read since then agrees with you, and has "if" taking the subjunctive, and I have long since bowed to the rule, as it certainly results in euphony, if nothing else.
Only you would spot this in a contest title, and pen a short, sharp, rebuke. Well done.
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Dear Vera
It still exists in Spanish grammar. And is spoken thatta way. Not sure about other languages.
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