Emotions are buried beyond sight-
I don’t think she even feels anymore.
Wet bulbs do not stream down her cheeks;
an empty mediastinum swallowed her tear glands.
Her lips are so lusciously pink and skin so pale
that passersby consider her a porcelain doll.
A smile hides it all
under those giant green eyes.
And that thick layer of goldilock curls
prevents anyone from feeling sympathy towards her.
She wonders to herself a deep “Why?”
But all voices are inaudible to her,
except her own.
Author notes
it's like a teddy-bear at christmas time- being the last one to be bought for the holiday. The first paragraph pretty much describes how I feel right now. I hear about how pretty I am, how my eyes are amazing, how my hair is incredible. I see people look at me, and nothing happens. Do people think I'm stupid because I have blonde hair? Out of reach? Ugly? Everyone else has somebody close in their life. I keep to myself, and I don't confront anyone about it of course. I don't want to ask "how come I can't get a guy interested in me" or something like that. I keep it to myself and try to make myself a better person. I'm nearly 19 and I'm still trying.
mediastinum- (one of the many layers of) cavity surrounding your heart
http://pixiefish.deviantart.com/art/Eyes-of-the-Young-21690666
this picture is perfect for my poem : )
N o t - T h e - S u n
In a list
A contest entry
- You can't turn back, because this road is all you'll ever have. by PaintedParisPassion.
625 points, ended August 27, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eyes -picture prompt contest by micaelalseth.
1100 points, ended November 21, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I love it... and that new word! Amazing
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A sad one, though it is filled with beautiful imagery. Amazing write, and I loved the title!
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Wow... reading your AN, that's exactly what I'm going through right now. I get the whole, "You're a great guy, but no..." sentiment all the time. If I'm so great, why the hell don't they give me a second look? You're not the only one going through this, trust me.
I think out of anyone on this site (perhaps other than my best friend, who's on here...), your writing style is most like mine. I read your stuff and I'm like, wow, THAT'S ME! I feel like we should collaborate on a poem at some point
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this was beautifully done. if only you could see my face while reading your authors note. as my mother would say ' stop trying, let it come to you'.
as for the poem, this was well written. and i love what you compared yourself too. its not a positive thing, but it was a brilliant thing. well done.
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thanks for reading : ) you're very kind
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Let me just start by saying that I LOVE the concept of this... and the title. It's just such a cool idea, and I think you really bring the emotion out in the last stanza. "But all voices are inaudible to her, except her own." GORGEOUS.It really captures the sort of longing I felt from her eyes in the picture. However, I had some suggestions for the first stanza. I think that these lines: "Tears do not stream down her cheeks;
she must be missing her tear glands." don't work well together. It might be the repetition of tear, but I think that you could totally add more imagery in there and make it a completely beautiful statement. The minimalism just didn't connect for me there or in the next two lines. The rest of the poem is really thick with these gorgeous tones but I would definitely change those four lines. -
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edited : )
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thanks for the input!
I'll work on it today and tomorrow
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this was a well written piece that i really enjoyed
i loved the part about tear ducts and how she must not have them.
i found that very well written along with the whole piece
great work thanks for entering -
A smile hides it all
Under those giant green eyes.
And that thick layer of goldilock curls
Prevents anyone from feeling sympathy towards her.
I love how you have such short, but powerful writes that leave a delicate impact on the reader, I could see this.
♥ -
Excellent
Such a powerful write. Very sad, but with great images. Best of luck in the contest.
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This was beautiful!
I loved it! Such deep emotions and awesome imagery in this. WOW! BRAVO! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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wow.
an amazing write.
thank you so much for taking the time to enter my contest.
good luck. -
VERY SAD!!!!
But you know my dear friend that I am much the same way, many look and at times actually stare at me and say what a wonderful person I am but I am still alone in this world to. Who may know just what the real answer is!
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This was fantastic. I love getting entries this late into the contest that are actually worth reading. thanks so much for entering
<3
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