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just when I was begining to like it

I roll it
in my mouth

try to make it
last

but this sun
is slimy

slides down

- too fast




.

Author notes

prompts: surreal, sunset
20 words

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • clockface
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Never thought of the sun as slimy before.
    But it does fit, on some days at least.

    Intriguing take on the prompt. I like it.


  • etoile
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was very interesting and unique. great way on using both prompts I liked the way you expressed the sunset.

    thanks for entering and goodluck


    • charcoal
      October 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for reading and the feedback also thank you for hosting the contest.


  • MysticalRayne
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting and creative way to express the sunset- best of luck in the contest


  • iverbthenoun
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you just gulped the solar system... now what do we do? huh? it's all your fault!

    • charcoal
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      just the sun the planets are there for the picking lol


      • iverbthenoun
        October 20, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        uh huh stop trying to be defensive... if we all die... it will all your fault... ha ha i just know... YOU DID IT!!! you did, sun swallower!

  • iverbthenoun
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

1 - 10 of 10