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Who I Am or Who Am I?

Who I am is yet to be known to myself and to the world
Most of the time I am nothing but a mystery
Everyday is clue as to who I might be
Occasionally, I'm like a pleasant breeze on a beautiful Spring afternoon

Refreshing

Peaceful

Uplifting

Gone without a trace

I'm the wanderer
I never stay the same for long
I have to be on the move
Wandering from place to place
Journeying through my soul and the earth

I am for sure the girl who always dreams of more
Not a moment passes by that I am not fantasizing about a better life
A better world
The dreams have conquered my reality
For this dreamer night's the only time of day

At the end of it all

I am just your friend

Always present when you need me

I want honest critique! I can't take it!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Sg
    April 11, 2009

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    Well I never am really able to leave critiques on the poem structure or style...but I do read the content...and let me say that everyone who wanders is not lost...

    You may be on a journey to discover who you are...but let me just tell you that you are not the result of your past...but you are one who is destined for the future...

    ...and when you discover that which you are most passionate about then you will have that inner peace...


  • PuRfekly-Phlaw3d
    November 29, 2008
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    great

    very nice...
    well written nice flow

  • vampedvixen
    November 13, 2008

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    People search all their lives to the answer to the questions of who they are and what they are in this universe to do and what they want out of it. You bring up these questions in this poem in a very open minded way. You want the answer, but seem willing to figure it out instead of getting frustrated after not being able to figure it out. Don't worry. The answers will come in time. For now, be contented with the fact that you are a wonderful friend and always present when people need you. If that's all you know about who you are, I think that might even be just enough. Some people aren't even able to be that. Great poem

  • unwrittenmoments
    October 29, 2008
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    Nice poem, you convey the point with clarity. I very much like 4th to 8th lines they are punchy and to the point, they stand out well.

    Some of the longer lines loose me and are long compared to the ones with three lines. With some sharpening this could flow a touch better. A very nice write and worth the time to read.


  • Sumthinlifeish
    October 27, 2008
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    Hey Maggie!
    Good write. I like it..I do think its alittle wordy..but I think its good.

1 - 7 of 7