Strands of blonde curls
Cascade down your back.
Your ivory skin
Glitters under the midnight stars.
The purple sky
Silhouttes your beauty.
The glamorous stars
Show me your face.
In this cloudless night
I welcome you.
Come take me away.
Let me escape into your indigo eyes.
Show me where
your hiding place is.
I'll escape with you.
Don't leave without me.
- A Critical Circle group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Fantasy Picture Inspired Contest V by ShelleyA.
3000 points, ended October 21, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give me your BEST Prewrites~ by Bean Sidhe.
1000 points, ended November 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This piece really shows how brittle that feeling of longing is... the 'don't leave without me' line in particular, obviously.
I get the sense that the 'author' (I say that as the main character in whose voice it is written) doesn't know the woman personally; she seems either imaginary or someone he's seen but never met.
This feeling probably comes from words like midnight, night, or silhouette that darken the internal image. Or perhaps it's the cold I felt with 'cloudless night', bringing in that tactical experience (subtle words with profound impact).
Cascading hair and ivory skin are extremely cliche, but seem to work ok here; though indigo eyes is very catchy.
Overall, good flow and imagery... thanks for sharing.
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This is very sweet. I love your imagery,
Strands of blonde curls
Cascade down your back.
Your ivory skin
Glitters under the midnight stars.
Awesome, imagery.
Alot of emotion is here too
Show me where
your hiding place is.
I'll escape with you.
Don't leave without me.
So sweet, very nice job!
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The imagery was great, i could picture everything as i read. It flows together extremely well.
Nice job!
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Fantastic poem
This was a wonderful poem. I loved your strong and vivid imagery. Your poem had a good flow to it
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Beautiful!
Wonderful, delightful poetry! Great wording, structure, flow and subject! I really like your style and poetic voice! Great work!
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Thank you for your entry & good luck!
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Very Beautiful Love poem
This poem is very beautiful. I felt like I was
right there experiencing the gorgeous beauty of whoever this poem is about. It really reflect what the heart longs for when it loves someone. I feel the intimate connection you must have with this person in this poem.
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Exquisite Poem...
This poem is ridden with exceptional talent and vivid imagry painted by a skilled mind. Outstanding job, Im lloking forward to seeing more from you. You are fantastic writer, please keep writing...
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I Liked it....
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Midnight lover
Descriptive yet enigmatic. Captures the magic of beauty, I like it. -
WOW!!!! Wonderful Write! Best wishes in life and the contest.
Peace in light and love
Noah
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Captivating,
The only thing is it left me wanting more.
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What vivid imagery work that this holds!
Fantastic!
This write is bloody brilliant!
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I like this fantasy piece. It is filled with vivid imagery that is very effective. It draws the reader in and keeps him till the end.
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Great use of imagery! i enjoyed reading it, very nice job=]
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Brill poem
i loved it, espesh the last for lines, was a grait way to end it
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Outstanding
I enjoyed reading this a lot. I liked the way you used colors to paint a very vivid picture. The imagery was thoughtful and worked well through-out. Love- sigh - can't live with or without it! Best of luck in the contest - I'm sure this will do well.
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I LOVE IT!
It was great.
I can picture where you are in this.
The background matches PERFECTLY
with the poem.
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Very nicely done
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Olalala
Romantic and beautiful.
I want more candy. xD -
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I want candy too!
ily Kayla!
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Nice title and take on the picture prompt. A good write. Good imagery, flow and tone. Very nice depth of feeling. Good descriptives. Thank you for your entry.
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Very descriptive!
This is a very good write. Good luck in the contest!
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