i want to tell you a story
but the words never come.
i remember watching my minds projection of what the story would be about.
it was you
and it was me lying next to you
but there was no bed, no lights, just phosphoescence coming through shattered pieces of dull windows.
but i never told you that.
i saw cold breath but felt warm skin, i told you it was okay and the water was running low, you said we could survive on our melding mouths, our hunger bitten in each others embraces, why did i ever see such an odd arrangement of limbs? you knew i didnt like the silence so your slow humming turned me over in my dreams, chuckles because i talk in my sleep and a gray tinge to my skin tone. we have not died yet.
i dont think i can tell you what i think because well would you even understand?
love was never perfect.
Author notes
i just wrote it.
ill never tell a soul.
A contest entry
- this is an interview. by Diseased Mind.
700 points, ended October 30, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
my favorite day.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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the tittle suggested something different to me then what it was
but its good.
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well it's a little hard to understand but the title does fit with the poem on some level. i was writing from my point of view if it were the end of the world and day of the dead.. kind of fit with that in my mind. i don't know it's just some crazy interpretation of mine lol
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mhm no i see it <3
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awesome write....
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i like this...
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i like this
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silver.
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Sometimes sheep are right. . so I don't have much to add here and should just say "see below"- not that I'm calling anyone here sheep in the way it might sound lol- just mean majority :s- Damn. I can't stop making stupid comments.
Great metaphorical reflections with the tone of a splintering role of film -god knows how you did that. Beautiful, captivating melancholy. Interesting sensations, like listening to an old movie through cracked glass. Soulful voice. . . more than that.
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you think too much. er, me too
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playing through pinhole camera photographs, each sentance was strong and melting on to the next.
i like this very much.
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i read this about a day ago. or whenever it was entered, which was prolly a day ago. and then i left it up on my browser. and all this time, i keep coming back, and reading it again. and again. i left it up because i was scared this would be mysteriously deleted, and i wanted to keep reading it. i read it and my mouth drops open automatically, i think that these are words i wish i could want to say, but the beauty is lightyears beyond me.
this is perhaps the only thing i've read in a very very long time that has so utterly captivated me. i'm currently speechless (in a general manner) but insert huge words of praise. insert more than praise - i want to cut you open and see what you're made of, how this could be so ... i don't have a clue.
you made my week. you made my year.
this was everything i wanted to hear.
your brain makes me melt.
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Sorry for the lack of any critical review, but I just wanted to say that this is excellent. Great write.
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definately gave me a fly on the wall feeling
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god, i like the way you write.
so personal and secretive, like i'm looking into your life thru a keyhole.
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Wow. Incredible. "You knew I didn't like the silence so your slow humming turned me over in my dreams." People like this seem so amazing and perfect until they show you they're sick and rotten underneath all the shine "considerations." Anyway, amazing write.. I loved it, as usual.
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