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The Sixth Sense



To awaken to your voice is as to me
hearing beautiful song of the birds of dawn.
To see the beam in your eyes a'spark,
when we meet or part,
is aliken to being blessed by the day's setting sun's rays.
To caress the softness of thy cheek
is to feel a tangible heaven,
of which no angel could speak.
To taste your lush caring lips pressed to mine
is to dine upon the truly divine.
And to smell the aroma of mingled juices
after such intense union
is to catch a whiff of ambrosia brewing.

But to sense your happiness
... and deeper satisfaction -
there is no greater gift
.... or higher elevation

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beauty, beauty, beauty of a poem...this might be it!
    take a look again at this one...
    ears/Seattle
    melts the heart and soul!


  • bigperm gold member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    this is good bro

    I think you've definantly captured a very nice pace. The imagery is spot on and there is a great tenderness.
    Double check the second line though. I think you meant to add "the" between hearing and beautiful...since you asked for a critique. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Shannon62875
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This is a very good write... You did a great job expressing how you feel... It was kinda short, but really good... Keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!

    Shannon*Leah


  • Draig aine gold member
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    thumbs up

    so tangible;em can taste and feel your words