Can love last forever?
Or does it end,
just like the human mind?
Can we feel it,
truly in our hearts and soles?
Can we touch it?
Is it a thing of a touchable species?
Or is one must only imagine?
Can we smell it?
Is it a sweet and delectable smell?
Can we see it?
Is it a beautiful display of lights and fireworks?
Can we hear it?
Is it a beer belly laugh?
or a hollowed out cold laugh?
Is love real at all?
Or is it a random dispersed out burst of laughter and leftover thoughts?
A contest entry
- Fresh As A Flower (No Prewrites) by HereComesTheSun.
450 points, ended October 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do I need to change it completly.or just a small section?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Lovely. Truly remarkable. But I think you should change soles to souls because it reminded me of feet soles.
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to me this feels as if its not completely over as if you could add more
but i loved the piece as its self
good luck -
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thank you very much!I'll see what I can do!=)
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I really like how you used the five senses, a very nice poem... The message is clear!!!!! Great job!!!!
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tank you very much!I'm glad ya enjoyed it!
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youre only twelve?! i didn't believe it when I read your poem. its very good. i love how you tied in the five senses. that always helps with imagery. great work; keep it up!
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Yes,yes I am!Thank you very much,it means a lot!
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i like how everything is questions yet the message of the poem is clear, yet sometimes you just have to believe in love, i sure do and its wonderful at times and painful at others, love can't be decribed in simple words
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Thank you!I really appreciate your comment!
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