Opal fires storm the wood as night opens
the wings of owls to whisper the stars down
from the branches to be braided in the hair.
Every woven fate starts as a dream hidden
within a seed. Life, a dance, an island in a belief.
Gods full of the maple red call to the robin
'cross winter of deceit. Laughter, rushed from lips
spreads inside the hearth’s flames to take root
within each heart. Family’s wealth swirled
‘round leaf and root bound by vine waits strong
the passing of winter’s rime. The oak, from seed
grown, brings shade and peace after crops are sown.
Pecan and walnuts, too, provide wind brakes
for the fields where trees ran through. Nuts for boars
and stoats who keep the stray animals from the fields
Nature teaches the material gifts are passing true,
Mammon is not more than a tool for how Gaea would
fruit her breath. Rich or poor all are blessed by robin’s
song when winter has spent her breath and in the heat
of summer’s lilt we can dance again in the solstice moon.
Man must learn no matter how great the warrior’s thews
he must bend to protect the nest and answer to the Gods’
demands to save the seed when the ice is at its crest
for planting in the earth’s plowed arms and heed the need
of wife and child so all can rise to be their best.
6:09 PM
10/20/08
Alexandria, VA
A contest entry
- The Ivy Tree~Buoyant Moon~Druid Zodiac Series by Blue Rew.
1020 points, ended October 22, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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'Every woven fate starts as a dream hidden within a seed' How deliciously designed, and fresh as a daisy. The whole poem shows nice, new ideas that you control well. Well written.
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Thank you. I delight in the language and enjoy finding ways to tease wonder from my reader with words. Thanks for stopping and sharing your pleasure with what you have found.
Love, Tom B.
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Yummy!
Brilliant, stunning imagery here! You have truly captured a country fantasy in this fine poetic effort. It is superb!
***************POETDONTKNOWIT**********
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Thanks for all the wonder and joy. I am glad you stopped by for all the wonder and joy that you found.
Love, Tom B.
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opps i already commented, i love the imagery in this piece stuning !!!
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Thanks for stopping by again.
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BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY AND WONDERFUL WAY OF ENTWINING NATURE AND YOUR EMOTIONS...
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Thanks for the compliment. May your holiday season be well blessed with joy.
Love, Tom B.
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Superb
A very fine write, with excellent imagery. I liked the way you expressed your thoughts. Thanks fo sharing this one. -
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I was once again working on another voice. This more mythic and pagan. They are all but paths out of a human beings most basic nature.
Thanks for finding so much within these simple words. It is always good to know you can touch a few souls.
Peace & Light,
Tom B. -
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You are quite welcome.
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Nice little poem that you've got here. It actually makes me think of lot of the vineyards of Italy. You never mentioned it to be about Italy or anything but that's definitely what I was seeing. Maybe it's all the movies I've been watching lately though. LOL
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Just a ballad for a druid. I had no particular countryside in mind, just the spirit of farming in harmony with a world that will dance and take care of those who tend to it.
Love, Tom B.
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ideas, dreams, fruition: Love
"Every woven fate starts as a dream hidden
within a seed...Life, a dance, an island in a belief."
So true this is of what the heart holds,
each thought bears a consequence
thus seed to harvest as life unfolds.
Man is as nature, seasons spun to end
for what is left except the thought
of blessing's seed, and heaven enters in?
~ Karen
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You always catch the heart of my words. This opening verse is the doorway before the others. Yes, we are but another metaphor for all that abounds in God's heart. As we play out our time upon the stage, we forget we shall in the end as in the beginning return to the ocean of wonder that holds us always.
Thanks.
Love,
Tom B.
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Survival
I always am amazed that we I grew up we had so little but took what we had and made do. The earth does provide and faith back then was a staple. Sadly, as I see it so much of that has changed. But your pen paints a magical picture.
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While my father was a naval officer and we moved constantly, it seemed -- we were an organic farming family. There was always a compost pile, attention paid to using silage etc. long before it was considered a cool thing to do. I worked on a dairy farm, picked apples one fall as a after school job, did all this enough to learn I didn't want to work the hours of a farmer. Yet, the appreciation for nature, the planning that has to go into taming her wild spirit enough to allow you to feast and the love of nature are all part of my back ground. This poem demanded I come to it from a slightly different angle then normal, glad you enjoyed.
Peace & Light,
Tom b.
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profound and thorough verse
I like the way you drop your rhyme words casually through the lines, although 'heed the need' is a bit oer the top. (to my taste) Rhyme is often better in your head than in actual writing, it works best well hidden, but could work against you too. We should serve the earth - very right you are. Your theme fits your classical tone, I like the 'heathen' references, and how you don't mix things up, philosocally.
The seeds are prominently there, although your vocabulary is wide and interesting, you also tend to repeat a lot. I think you could improve by being more concise.
For what it's worth, my comments, in admiration for your wonderful achievement,
love, -
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I played with this to give it a ballad air with an idyll quality. I figured heed the need could be slide through in reading with out stress and catch the emphasis on seed. As to that word, I am not sure what to use in its place and keep the sense of simplicity. Have to cogitate more upon that. This was a druid based contest so I tried to evoke a feeling of a style that fit with the time. Yes, there is much to be said for the short and concise, but often those two begin to grow old and stale upon my plate. Thanks for enjoying and giving an insightful critique. It helps me grow as a writer and helps me see other ways I can play with words.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Fruit her breath...you show how to ripen language by using it to colour life and nature....fire...ahh..he has a burning hunger...avarice is not easy to bear witness too...within the seasons are also the elements...are they not...congratulations on the shiny for the shelf dear poet...apologies for not dropping by more often...may you never lose your muse...
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Glad to see you drop by. This was a dance for the pagans in our midst. I enjoyed the challenge and the chance to make a picture full of broad slashing strokes. Thanks for all the kind words.
Love, Tom B.
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nice imagery
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Thanks
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Very nice. Well done to this prompt. Congratulations on your award. ~Pamela
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There is no comparison between yours and mine, which is just fine. I am glad, most of all, that we can appreciate the others style and view. Thank you.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This write is bursting with hardy nature and I find the language very pleasing. I feel I can hear an ancient orator standing on a hill blessing the harvest in this, and welcoming the new year at Samhain.
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When we see the metaphor for our salvation echoed in the everyday then we can begin to dance upon the sheaves of wheat and find the bread to feed our souls.
Love,
Tom B.
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a lesson, a poem, an extraordinary image to fill the mind. I wish you all the best, Tom.
Love, Lane
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What a wonderful piece for you to share. THis really makes a valid point... several to be honest. I love the opening line the best... how beautifully spoken!! "as night opens" ahhh that is graceful of your pen!
Thank you for sharing this with me... as your ink always brightens my day and gives me a bit to ponder. I am diving into the thoughts now
Best of luck in this contest!
Mel
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Truthfully, I think poetically the first verse is the best. This is a definite cant of how we need to live in our own garden. We are too often as children thinking that it can take all our abuse, instead of being graced and cared for with our love. Thought you would enjoy the vision in this poem, so glad it touched you, my sweet pea.
Love, Tom B.
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I agree, profound is a word that extends through this verse. "Man must learn no matter" nods to
the souls that see how much there is to learn
that is not of human seed. We plow, sweat,
reap, and give thanks; but do we really see...
This verse seems to bring all of the earthly connections forward and present them in a logic
to reach into man's heart. Blue
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In many ways the poem is a reflection in greater detail of the first verse. We are living in a metaphor that is echoed in all its parts. Too often we are caught up in our own self importance and ill at ease. We suffer from our unwillingness to experience what is in the moment and instead insist on our constant arguement, both our blessing and curse.
You know I love to find the universe in a rain drop. This is but a reflection of my passion and I hope a doorway for another's understanding.
Love, Tom B.
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The universality of nature's beauty is indeed a gift to be shared by all. The need to protect Gaea's strong, yet fragile heritage is so thoughtfully outlined in this verse. If only this simple and profound message could be accepted by all peoples. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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I tend to think in how the global is reflected in the detail, how the world is a metaphor for every part of itself as if we can never learn our lessons.
Love,
Tom B.
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to know your place is a wonderful thing. i love how this piece was put together. very powerful message. thanks for sharing and keep the pen a-flowin.
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There is a place in the heart for all of us. Not the heart of anyone but the heart of the greater spirit and the gifts given.
Love,
Tom B.
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It touched every personal memory of every point of the year. You bring people on a great road trip with your words and its something I think you do with every poem. Your imagery was so powerful in this poem it made my soul yearn for more.
A very powerful and provoking write you really outdid yourself with this one
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I wanted to stroke the more elemental spirit of the human soul. Catch a more organic relationship we have with the earth in response to Blue Rew's challenge. Your response makes me feel that I have perhaps caught a part.
Love, Tom B.
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you make me feel as if I am there
bravo
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Very high compliment. Thanks for enjoying this dance of the seasons.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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As usual your imagery is impeccable. I love all of this. It left me breathless and wanting more but the second last stanza reference to winter and summer is just brilliant.
thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece.
Juls
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You compliment me more than I perhaps deserve. I just wanted to catch the natural setting and spiritual quality of Rew's request in the contest. I am so glad to hear that this effort touched you. Thanks
Love,
Tom B.
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decadent imagery, tom. i love the way you write! your vocabulary is so wide and the world you paint is so vibrant and alive and colorful...it's like seeing a sliver of a movie, a tiny swatch of a life. just for an instant, and then it's gone. i think it's your attention to detail that really takes the cake in this particular poem.
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Thank you, that is quite a compliment. I hope to speak to the spirit that relates to field and stream, bough and branch. Infinity is found in these moments when we just are and that's all there is.
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A beautiful piece here, full of the richness of nature and of love and nurturing of ones own. You always make me smile with these. C
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The effort was to answer the call of Blue Rew's contest. I was intrigued. Perhaps I even wrote what she is looking for.
Love, Tom B.
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