"The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers"
plays inside my conscious thoughts
as the stereo spins my favorite record.
Is it possible that simplicity, can also be complex?
I wish I could of penned such elegance
Seems like the only thing that spills from my inkwell is ink-blocks, never words
Yet the memory of lyrics starts to sink in, slowly, deeply
Scratching the clear cut surface of my unconscious mind.
The lingering smell of his aftershave
and the touch of his linen felt skin.
The sea deep enchantment of his charcoal eyes
the crooked smile and waves of jet black hair.
All recap the beauty in simplicity
"When our kite lines first crossed".
Author notes
*Quotations are from the song, "Pink Bullets" by the Shins.*
A contest entry
- Long distance. by QueenCiar.
500 points, ended October 28, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Inspired by Hated..
550 points, ended January 20, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any advice would be lovely?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"The sea deep enchantment of his charcoal eyes
the crooked smile and waves of jet black hair.
All recap the beauty in simplicity," the pure fluid sounds in these lines grabbed at me. I love the whole poem the questioning and the lyrics work really well.
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I absoultely love your words. You're a wonderful lyricist. I' m going to be daring and put you on a pedestal and compare you with the likes of Common and Talib...I love it girl!!
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oh my...that is one of the best compliments I have ever heard. Common and Talib are some of the best lyricist, still left in the game. They give me faith that hip-hop is still alive and kicking.
I would only hope that my work could be even half as good as theres...thanks again!
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Absolutely beautiful entry!
Thanks for entering it and good luck
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The evocative language keeps my mind wanting more of your words to flow out. Your style is wonderful. "The lingering smell of his aftershave
and the touch of his linen felt skin." my fav. line. I also enjoyed the questioning "is it possible that simplicity, can also be complex?" And I think it's possible. Keep writing beautifully, you'll do wonders!
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beautiful.
"Yet the memory of lyrics starts to sink in, slowly, deeply
Scratching the clear cut surface of my unconscious mind."
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