I woke up this morning holding a blanket tight,
after a sleepless night of losing you, slowly.
I feel like
if I wasn't so busy cramming words in your mouth and trying to make you say the things that would save me,
I could speak for myself.
I feel like
simply speaking syllables,
saying certain synonyms
should solve something,
should front-and-center
the evasive little places
that make this so hard,
and erase them,
deface them,
discard.
You've always told me that you know me,
that you could show me a way out of this doubt
and hold me
without holding out.
I'm thanking these blankets for hanging about.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I really like the simple rhyme scheme. It helps the piece flow, and leads me from one image to the next without much effort. I think this is a basic message, one that has been experienced repeatedly since humans created this idea of love. It's fresh. Good job.
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This was quaint and deep and pained and I loved it.
The mirrored images "cramming words in your mouth...speak for myself" and "hold me without holding out" added a great reflexive element as thoughts turn in on themselves. The 's' sound shot through the middle section and just saying it out loud is a treat for the mouth and the ears.
Ended brilliantly with the full circle move back to the blankets in the new light of post-deliberation. Great.
Thanks for the read as always it was a pleasure.
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That's so kind of you, my friend.
This piece carries so much pain in it. I'm pleased it came across as anything.
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Wow,
this is amazing.
So full of emotion and such beautiful imagery. I'm left in awe.
I love the second stanza, I just keep reading it over and over. And the final line is perfect, it's a powerful end to a fantastic piece of writing.
Well done, I truly enjoyed reading this!
ElectricBloom
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Thank you so very much. This came from a lot of emotion in what has turned out to be a pivotal morning in my romantic life. I appreciate your attention.
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