I have watched ribbons of life unfurl
twist themselves in their meandering,
and each time distance fades the colours,
and I see all the stitches
holding this web,
strain beneath burdens
while I fabricate more threads.
There are regrets that fill a sigh,
where left was a dead end
along a one way street,
and oh how it hurt to scrape
my way through each stone-wall
until fingers, like sorry were worn away.
So many escaped balloons,
floating in hope of a safe landing,
left grasped in a lattice of loneliness,
or simply rubbish dangling from life’s tree,
but I understand,
that each of the ribbons, stitches, roads
and balloons fulfilled their part of the journey,
leading me closer to life;
to understanding.
Author notes
Grand Canyon
Edit - 20/10
A contest entry
- Tour De Monde - Stage 7 by Errant Panther.
400 points, ended November 2, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Critique Requested
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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some very deep and progressive thinking flowing behind the words here, some rather complex metaphors but they work well to convey the feeling that one gets lost within the path of life and often forgets they are pieces in a much bigger game.
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...that each of the ribbons, stitches, roads and balloons...
Absolutely introspective. Many who read this poem will find self recognition, much like visiting the Grand Canyon. I would always wish to be led closer to 'life" a place most do not recognize as bigger than self.
Brilliant as expected my friend. A pleasure and a joy to read.
~Pamela 
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Brilliant...I love the emotion the reality and such metaphor....You always bring your best, Bro
Best wishes in this round
Sis
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this was really a great read,
remarkable imagery.
Well done and very enjoyable.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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This is amazing I really love the imagery that you have crafted so well in this piece - the web especially
... my favorite part was the 'fingers, like sorry' line - fantastically done ... I wish you the best of luck in the contest (although I don't think you will need it 
)
Keep writing
Polly
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Do we ever reach a true "understanding" I doubt it, but that takes nothing away from this lovely poem. I can't pick a favourite line because I like it all. Well done and good luck in the contest. Val
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wow!!! an incredible piece...i dont know you but would like to add you after this one xxx
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I would be honoured xx
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I agree with an earlier reader that the ending is just too optimistic, and really not needed to "tie it all together." This piece is full of great images, including "So many escaped balloons, floating in hopes of a safe landing," It is already profound, without your telling us "I understand". You have a wonderful talent, and I enjoy reading your work!
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well done...this poem teaches wisely and presents
lovely metaphors of understanding!
way to write!
ears/Seattle
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two thumbs up
This piece was awesome. I'm glad I took the time to stop and read it!
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There are regrets that fill a sigh,
where left was a dead end
This is not just a remarkable write. I even shake my head... I like it a lot. thank you for sharing. Have a great day -
Yes! This is poetically and in reality how one nails down errors for stronger support, by not being pinned down by an event or an opinion but by swimming with the tide, setting the word balloon free you reach for introspection and do yourself and the tree a service, it's all a learning curve, this highway that we travel, this school of life full of both joys and strife.Profound Poetry!
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A somewhat optimistic ending which is throwing me off
I adore your first stanza as it is concise and to the point, all while still flowing well and I love the rest [except for that ending]
and phrases like:
" how it hurt to scrape
my way through each stone-wall
until fingers, like sorry were worn away."
are exceptional
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