I shall partake of thine moist heaven of dripping velvet,
the last supper of ravenous sensualists,
imbibing nectar from thy chalice of copulence
drunk upon reciprocated lust.
Two glistening
chimeras of carnal chaos
tenderly twisted
into a human knot of animalistic urges
bound by their yearnings
freed of ALL inhibitions.
A captive couple
writhing in explicit endeavors
of transcending connection.
The only release
is that which gushes forth from them.
Each rivulet containing ambrosia concentrate
pooling into an emulsion of kinetic desire
for together we fall, divided we stand.
Author notes
Photo artist: Mick Payton. Name: Coming for you
found on Obsessionart.com
combined with a transvere of the last line of hey you
a wide deviance from the prompt but nonetheless what my muse spewed out.
A contest entry
- Hey You. adults only contest by JinSays.
1091 points, ended November 3, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Will You Be My Valentine? by Poetryintheblood.
550 points, ended January 20, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
...blowing away worthy...absolutely...it's like I only had to read the title and I knew the juxtaposition of glistening (generally something light, sweaty and heroic) with a chimera (evil thingy that is a hybrid of normal animals to make an abnormal animal)...and yep...tis all there...
...the use of ye olde English in this text is immensely fast paced which of course reminds me of my poetic influences...tons of polysyllabic words which gives a little thrill in the brain...alliteration...GAH!! It's alll there...I only have to read it once and I want to read it again...amazingly well done...
Oliver
-
wonderful....rich and sensually lustful...love the images you deliver...this is a quietly hot write...a turn-on, subtle and warm...delicious write...love love it
-
this is lovely!
simply lovely!
-
Thank you for your most beautifully sensual entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
-
I read your contest description and KNEW I wouldn't be disappointed. This is an amazing write. I love your language.
-
chimeras, eh
It sure seems a bit HOT in here; and in December!!!
WOW!!! This is very very erotic.
Lady D
-
Very few writers can pull off anything near this and I admit that I do not go into this arena at all. You have a gift to carry it out and still perhaps be sane while doing it. The entwining of people is either complex or shallow and with this type of writing one as a reader normally can tell which is taking place. With your work I cannot tell which side it falls on. To me there is no such thing as sensuality that is not one or the other but I cannot make out what you clearly spelled out. I'm aroused but still in a fog regarding the nature of the relationship. Bravo! RC
-
tenderly twisted
into a human knot of animalistic urges...
Great reference... ambrosia!
you said not your best genre???? Silver from Jin!!!!
well done
Juls
-
Spectacular imagery. Very subtle and elegant write. I really enjoyed your use of "for together we fall, divided we stand" and the imagery you used throughout. One thing confused me, however...and these are the following lines: "tenderly twisted
into a human knot of animalistic urges" Tenderly wisted is an interesting image, but I feel that the rest of it does not reflect the tenderness, it does not carry it well. knot, animalistic and urges are rough words, and the tenderly gets lost, almost so locked within the twist that it cannot be felt. I'm not sure if you know what I mean. I hope so. Maybe I am just rambling, but I enjoyed your poetry so much I added you to my faves.
-
-
thank you very much for the consructive criticism, that is very useful. I was attempting a polarization or yin yang type angle but I see where the scales could be a bit off balanced. Will give it a gander when sober enough to.
-
-
Hmm...maybe just me, but I'm reading that the two chimeras twisted together could also be the double helix of DNA?
Aside from that thought, love the poem. I had to read through it a couple times to understand what it's saying...and I'm still a little unsure as to some parts, but I think I got it mostly.
Love the way you twist words around in this poem.
-
One of the best writes I have read, the beginning is very captivating itself and flows like dripping velvet till the end! Perfect! 10/10!!!
Mostly i will not click this genre, but I dont know what led me. I write these seldomly and for one could never write a sensible one! lol! this is great!
Love and light,
Lencio
-
Very well done. I would place this poem as erotica rathter than sensuality. I tend to avoid reading erotica on hear as most of it is poorly written and some do a rather poor job of mimicking the type of poem you have written. Your poem is an exception. It is very good.
Mike
-
It's a very well written piece, there is no doubt.
Quite honestly, it's very lovely and it makes me think about what my own philosophy of love really is.
< -
This is an extremely involving read. Wow.
-
-
thanx M
-
-
Interesting...
A few shades of De Sade and Genet here with a dash of Rimbaud and maybe a drop of Aesop Politico...? -
you should get gold for the title alone
love, lane
-
-
thanx Lane, ur too kind
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
