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~Let It Go~

freedom
screamed
like scattered dreams,
trapped tightly
beneath shallow coatings

of an illusion.



Author notes

Picture Credit: http://belle-a-dawna.deviantart.com/art/Come-With-Me-101116451

A contest entry

Honest Critique Requested

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 1, 2008

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    Of an illusion ... what a line; what a write! I loved the depth within, seriously. The idea of freedom screaming just rocks me to the core


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 1, 2008
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    Thank You for Your Entry

  • Lady Mak
    October 31, 2008

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    i think this poem is fantastic, I love it. to me it says such lot in ways of depth of emotion, it is raw with emotion "Freedom Screamed" I can hear it..brilliant!

    like scattered dreams...wow! which of us has never known scattered dreams, when our dreams and hopes do not happen, are they not scattered, not held together, sad.

    trapped tighly
    beneath shallow coatings

    of an illusion. [this part reminded me of the film Brave heart... William Wallace] the illusion of Justice, but not the reality of his trial .. Just a shallow coating, an illusion.

    In my opinion this poem is excellent and I love it . I love your words here


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 20, 2008
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    I keep wanting to say "an illusion" .. maybe remove "or" ?

    but otherwise it's very good.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 20, 2008
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1 - 5 of 5