Oh what a noble mind you believe you possess,
To think you can talk to me like that.
Why do you speak to me so?
As if I have no thoughts to call my own.
I know you think me simply wanton
But my dear; it’s all an elaborate show.
My faithful kisses and your antic disposition,
You know we’re just both insidious liars.
Did you honestly believe I would fall for one such as you?
You really have a long way to go before you grow up,
Especially if you believe I really think you’re mad.
But then again, you never really did think your plans through.
Males never really do think their plans through, do they?
They think they do, but they always forget about me.
I hear many things I mustn’t, know many things I shouldn't.
My father wanted us to wed, until your father died, that is.
Then what was the point; you weren’t going to become a king.
He still blames your uncle for ruining his perfect plot.
Is it so wrong to want something that goes against our faith?
You seek revenge and I a liberated freedom.
How long am I to remain shackled by society?
Painting masks upon my gender of
Courteousness, graciousness, meekness and mildness –
And all for the sake of apparent propriety.
So I ask you, why do you think so lowly of me?
I am neither yours to command, nor mine own.
I have neither propositioned you nor caused you pain.
Is it because I am quick that you mock me so?
Is it that you are afraid of being my equal?
That you feel you must insult me to see my apparent disdain.
Author notes
Ok, This is my creative component for our study on Hamlet. I'm meant to give Ophelia a voice and more of a character. It takes place after Hamlet tells her to go to a nunnery (also code for whore house back then). It fits in around 03.01.144.
This is the completed work, as it was handed into my teacher yesterday. Anyway... thats all folks.
Please be critical, it's for my pre-tertiary english class.
Comments
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Ok, firstly...I do like this. I concure with the below comment about some of the grammer, but all in all, this is a fine piece of writing. If your tutor doesn't like it , I'll rip her head off for you and give it to you as a trophy...
This is a well penned, well formed. You certainly gave Ophelia a voice in this, Claire.
Bravo!
'D'
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Lol., neep!! Please don't. She;s the head of the english department at my college. she'll be helping to mark my exams. i need her alive to help me not fail those exams.
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Here Claire, this is what i think needs to be touched up on but I hope it helps.
Paragraph one:
On the first line I think there should be a comma after mind so it flows a bit more smoothly and if you get rid of the "for you" in the second line.
Add a like before the so in the third line.
"Of" instead of "to" in the fourth line and get rid of the "just in the last line.
Paragraph two
Put a comma after the fall in the third line.
Paragraph three
Turn the "should not" into a "shouldn't" so it flows and put a "my" in front of the father to give more meaning. And get rid of the word "power" in the last line.
Paragraph four
A comma after the I in the second line.
Paragraph five
Change the "mine" to "yours" to give more meaning and a full stop after the word "pain"
Now that's over I hope it helps as I have read the book yet.
Love ya Kate
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