sometimes the screaming star falls by
and reaches out with crystalline talons
to grasp and tear
at the foundations
of its own ecstasy,
such that all the heavens
come crashing down
scattering shrapnel and wasted tears
like crocodile hearts and selfish lies on the ground.
glittering and farcical, this elegant epiphany
of roses and rust.
twisting unformed potentials
strangle and fall from the sky, unmourned
collapsing in chaotic molehill-mountains
which not even the wind
would sweep.
the tunneling continues
insatiable unstoppable
but still the foreman looks away
and wipes a tear
when he thinks his men
aren't looking.
fish-hook orders peeking
out from furred curtains:
a lion's paw
across your temples, scraping the lights away
snatching in land-shark jaws the cruel apparition
to spirit it away,
a wraith in the night.
lost and wandering under the burden
of implanted instructions,
he stops and grasps his head,
ripping,
tearing,
digging,
until, at last,
he breaks free
and flies away.
Author notes
This is a genuine freewrite, raw, unplanned and unedited. I'll probably enter something else with a more concrete theme, also. My username is intoothandclaw.
A contest entry
- a place between the cocoons and wrinkles. by bird-mad girl.
1750 points, ended November 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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For something that was unplanned and unedited this is astonishing. I'm impressed and jealous that I could never write something so remarkable freely and without edit.
The images and emotions were fierce and cutting. All the imagery felt seperate and thus created more visions to grasp and emotions to taste.
I feel like I'm stumbled upon something of sheer greatness.
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Actually, you could. It just takes some practice. I've taught several people who said the same thing the technique; it works for anyone. You just have to get used to doing it.
In the beginning, if you can, it helps to close your eyes. If you can't type with your eyes closed it doesn't really matter, it's just helpful. Anyway, what you do is just let your hands write whatever they want, and any time you feel an urge to censor, delete, or change what's being written, force yourself not to no matter how hard it is. At first your progress will be halting and stuttery but the more you force yourself to do it, the easier it gets, until you can hardly sit down at the keyboard without torrents of stuff falling out unbidden.
You can edit out typos and the like, but that's it. It's a fun game, actually, and good for busting writer's block.
Thank you very much, though.
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