i look into the hollow-eyed sky
attached to the umbilical cord of mercury
and black sheep are feeding on clouds
while the lotus sings
to the lyre
a half-embraced wind of change blows
the licorice memories of chaos' undress
sealed is the jaded cocoon of barren trees
and golden cavities
trembling in abstinence
all we are and have become
is before me now
a wilderness of multifaceted stones cast
the dream scape void of tripping tongues
and the volatile vocabulary
of lonely
the resonance of sand and sea
is lost
within the spiral of the sinking shell
the cyclone of a million years cries
and dances with the moon
no more
i am half-afloat
in the shifting sand
drowning...
with humbled humanity
on dry land
Author notes
MuddyKing
In a list
A contest entry
- a place between the cocoons and wrinkles. by bird-mad girl.
1750 points, ended November 19, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love virtually everything you write. This, is no exception.
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Oh, there are shivers running down my spine at these beautiful images...Definitely among the most original stanzas that I have read here on AP. You have truly taken the prompt, and made it completely your own.
Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for correcting the AN portion, I would have hated to DQ such a brilliant piece.
The opening line was grand. I look to the sky now and almost feel different about it. It's just a void, an endless one, an empty eye socket and nothing looks down on us.
I love the fourth stanza best. There was this sense of universal loss to it. It kind of reminded me of the speech Gene Wilder gave in Young Frankstein when he was being lifted on the platform with his soon to be living creation. Well, the beginng part of that speech because the language was similiar with the referances to the earth and sky.
I would love to add you as a favorite.
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Please read the rules or else I will have to DQ your piece.
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thanks for the heads up, I thought I went all cliche' on you
peace Muddy
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"hollow-eyed sky"
Love the phrase 'hollow-eyed' in relation to the sky; makes me think of the phrase, "The sky is empty". Like, god doesn't exist?
And...uber to the creative use of "umbilical cord".
And that third stanza...holy crap.
It's my favorite part, because I think it's the part I understand most...
"volatile vocabulary
of lonely"
Damnation.
If your alliteration was intentional/unintentional, I don't care. That's freaking fabuloussssssss!!
"is lost"<--love the line break.
The ellipsis in that last stanza...
99% of the time, I hate it.
I loved it there; it just works.
So good.
Jessica
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"while the lotus sings
to the lyre"
This right here, is worth the whole piece. One of those lines where I wish I had dreamed it myself. Instead, I will have to favorite this. One for the words, two; for the ocean references.
Beautiful personifications in this. Those are always my favorite because they reveal a great deal about the writer.
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"and the volatile vocabulary
of lonely"
Ooohhh...I'm gonna "pull a Rob" here & say, "Damn, I wish I wrote that!" Such deep layers, weaving their shadows & magic within my eyes, my soul. Good luck in the contest, Scribe. 
Wanderer
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