You will raise her skirts above bent knee
and thrust hip to pound stacatto beats into helpless boards
You throw back her head until the light of the fire
catches in the beads of moisture
gathered in the soft crease of bosom
and the lifted arc of wrist and hand
that snaps a castenet beat to lilt from smoky
window glass
to corner lamplight and shy young girl
twirling somewhat awkward before his eyes
glad eyes, dark and smiling eyes, framed in
almond skin and dusky flickers ...a smile of young love
and the strings sound so close now.
She is near and the movement of hair and waist
fascinate and so red the lips, that invite
and he stands to extend his hand in artistic curve of his back
like the man in the sand before the horns
and there is a wisp of Lorca in the unsung lyric
and Hemingway's laugh above the glad clapping
glasses clink and voices rise to fill the attentive silence
now past...
but you...
you ancient strings play on
in his ears and upon her swaying body
and in their dancing hearts.
In a list
A contest entry
- Spanish Guitar by Danna Hobart.
490 points, ended November 12, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I like narrative poems specially when they are done well. In this case, yes this is really exceptional.
Love the facets of perspective here.
Another good write.
Thanks for sharing,
HENSLEY
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What a beautifully written piece with a magnetic pull on the heart strings.....
I've only ever seen, to my remembrance, one other poet use the word Lorca, and he was brought to my attention fairly recently. Just something I noticed, and found to be interesting.
Thanks for the poetry.....
Love & Blessings,
~
~ Janet ~ ~
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thank you Janet-
Lorca is a favorite of mine, and i think to a lot of people a symbol, one of the few I have read whose ideas seem to stay with me, come up when i try to write...Thank you so much for reading and for your lovely comments...PK
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Bravo!
The first two verses capture the driving force of the Spanish guitar, so much more forcefully sensual than the quiet romance of cooler climes.
There is a nice segue from the musical to the carnal sensuality of face and form drawn forth from the driving beat.
The showmanship, the chutzpah of the artist and lover are all prefigured in the music, but in the end we see the guitarist and girl fulfilling the music's intention.
It is a fine tale in its set up, its action and its climax well-told.
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thank you-
Spanish guitars, yes! this is one of the few of mine that i really like too...thanks for the wonderful comments, glad you could find some of the things i enjoyed too...PK
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This is one of your best poem of sensual tones.
It's quite warm without being too much, and the references are great, to poets that too wrote about warm feelings, about feeling that kind of sensuality.
Really a very satisfying read
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aww so beautiful I love it
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Full of the sensual fires of Spain and a well-deserved winner.
Congratulations,
Bill -
but you you ancient srings lay owhat a seductive pieceof work,creatively sensual
buyou you ancient srings play on
In his ears and upon her swaying body
This is my favourite line if i have to choose
lustful closure to a splendid piece,bravo
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Very nice work here...seemed so full of passion, and I daresay lust. BRAVO!!!
ASM
AKA Raymond -
I am at a loss for words. This is simply gorgeous. Thank you very much for entering this contest.
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stunning
beautiful imagery, somehow wistful, and Lorca and Hemingway make the moment so much more valuable through the fragility of time
sensual, you have combined sex and death in a beautiful poem
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"and there is a wisp of Lorca in the unsung lyric
and Hemingway's laugh above the glad clapping"
Ooh!
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really nice. good job with writing this. enjoyed the read. good luck in the contest.
blu
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beautiful
reall good imagary i saw it ll -
The dancing of two hearts...and a silent clink of two glasses. Two people sharing a moment in time, nothing can tear them apart...for its only a moment in time. ~Sie
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Your imagery is vivid and sensual and the atmosphere created by your words is stunning--an excellent piece.
Best of luck,
Bill
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A visually stunning poem. The sensuality, the beautiful arching of both words,
the flexing and bending of the bodies, their bows. The kissing of necks and the
rolling of sweat only heights the seductive perception. I will not be surprised if
this piece wins gold. It is absolutely magnificent.
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this is excellent, one of my new favorites by you...I love all the different rhythms, the imagery is fantastic & your voice... is smoking hot sexy in this poem, I hope that's ok for me to say...lol.
bookmarking...
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I agree with Paul.. this would have fitted my contest perfectly!! Loved the sensuality of the dance here, the movement, the rhythm... I just love everything Spanish.... something that stays with the reader about this poem. Lovely poetry!
~ Nicolette
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Nicolette-
you and Paul, are both very kind... I too love the Spanish musical styles especially that go along with Flamenco and Andalusian Folk traditions...thank you so much...PK
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I sometimes try to guess which contest the poem is in before I finish reading. I was guessing this might have been written for Nicolette's "Dance us to the end of love contest."
wonderful writing here. I so enjoyed the vivid sensitivity.
Paul
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