Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Hungry Soul

Missing image

 

This is the sound of a thousand hopes drowned

The broken beat of a heart never complete

Sample the silenced screams of a man denied his dreams

Scratch the surface of the mind of a soul left behind


The verse of the cursed mixed with the blood of the doomed
Steady flow pouring forth like from an open wound

Pounding rhythm
Endless repetiton

Stuck in this loop
Close to the point of submission

Same song on repeat
Like the dirge of defeat

Got me going  ‘round  in circles
Now I’m seeking retreat

Out of synch with the world
Playing a different tune

Couldn’t reach the stars
So I cried for the moon

Left out the big picture
On the cutting room floor
Trying to piece my life together
Wondering what it’s all for

‘Cause I’m a hungry soul
Fed only on lies
Now I’m growling ‘cause I still ain’t never seen no prize

Been playing too long
Getting tired of the game
Whichever move we make things seem to stay the same

Static

Now this emotion’s got me charged
Like a force of nature - this torrential barrage

Hissing in my ear
Demons must be near

Council of the serpeant breeding anger from fear

“Same shit different year”

Demon’s message is clear
But this creature is no ally, no he shouldn’t be here

Because this ain’t no regression
What gave you that impression?
This is just a confession

A short reality session

‘Cause I’m caught up in this jam
Need to release some tension

Solo - when will it end?
Now’s the time for ascension

Trapped in this snare for too long
Breaking down mid song

Got to keep moving
Find my rhythm
Try to right this wrong

But it ain’t easy,
Please believe me
This ain’t meaningless sound

Shoulder the weight of these words
I spit on dangerous ground

Don’t want to be dragged down
By the lyrics that I share
I may be lost at sea
But never lost my flare

So the fire still burns
Turn up the volume - hear me shout

Black star you can’t see
And I’ll never


[Fade Out]

 

Author notes

I usually express myself through more conventional poetry, although that was never a focused, conscious decision, so this is something different from every angle.

In a list

A contest entry

How was it for you?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Symphony
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was quite passionate...

    It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but despite that, I felt that I was drawn into it, and compelled to keep reading -

    The opening,

    "This is the sound of a thousand hopes drowned
    The broken beat of a heart never complete
    Sample the silenced screams of a man denied his dreams
    Scratch the surface of the mind of a soul left behind"

    That was so powerful - very strong opening!

    Thanks for entering


  • xxSerendipityxx
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written and conveys your feelings very well. My favorite part is
    "Because this ain’t no regression
    What gave you that impression?
    This is just a confession
    A short reality session"
    I like the whole poem but in this verse I like how you did the rhyming,. Great write and good luck in the contest

  • RechercheCadaver
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    Great stuff, so few people can rhyme well, and you're definetly one of the few who can. It sounds a bit like it could be turned into a song. I see you are very liberal with grammer and punctuation but it definetly works for you. I applaud you for doing your own thing.


  • bigperm
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    nice write sir...

    I will have to keep my eye on you. This was one of those rare finds when you feel that unique styles are so watered down and scarce that you contemplate ending the search...when...wow. I look foward to peeping out few more of your works. Thanks.

  • loafy
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice picture, it goes well with your write. Keep up the fabulous work of yours.


  • motel silver member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like the cyclic nature of the mental dialogue and the rhyme sequence works really well.
    thanks and good luck in the contest.


  • YOtta
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I Applaud You!


    Ironic thing is, you speak of repentance through out your poem and you do repeat certain statements, am not sure if you intentionally thought it out when you were writing but it made a solid statement to me.

    You definitely amused me, with your style; you brought free verse to a different level. A debate, relativistic struggle of a man vs. the world and life in general.
    You broke yup your lines when you needed to, you emphasized on words when you needed to and I got to tell you, long poems normally bore me out especially when they have no substance or consistency but, I wanted the end and I wanted it bad ! You kept me intrigued and quite suspicious!

    Rich imagery and rhythm. Truly unique work


  • cheeku
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This is amazing, I didn't get bored once, It made me want to keep on reading. The story is really intriguing, I'm speechless. This is just so outstanding!


  • Stevie.me
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Pretty Cool

    Hey I thought this was really cool.
    It really makes one feel what you must have
    been feeling at the time. I can totally identify
    with what it means to have a hungry soul ,so I know how it feels. I was a little confused about the "Wrong" that was to be righted in this poem , maybe it's just me though . But other then that I thought it was really good.



  • CandyCoatedRaZors
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Personally, I dislike rhyming, but in here, I seemed to like it quite a bit.

    It's excellent. I like how the emotions play out (Not good at commenting, though v.v")


  • Room without doors gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    This is an awesome lyric. I can just hear it with a few guitars in the background. I loved the rhyme which was strong throughout and the dark imagery -especially the bit with the snake in the middle. I also liked how you expressed your emotions. Brilliant to read.


  • Panicked-Puppet-xXx
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding, Simply Fantastic...

    An outstanding poem rich with imagery and depth, despair and emotion. Wonderful poem. You are an outstanding writer and very skilled, please keep writing...


  • TabbyJoy
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the ending here...effective use of brackets. It was powerful. Some great dark imagery here as well. But, you didn't include the original prompt in your author's notes


  • Harlequin Dance
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It sounds so formal at first, but then it becomes conversational. Itcombines emotions and imagery in a very interesting way.


  • Eyes Wide Shut gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, this is really good. I love the form, how you start it and it merges into larger stanzas! haha. Your words portray quite the picture. Keep it up :]

1 - 15 of 15