here seated in monastic silence
a chill caress smooths me
to stillness.
with silver-gray threads of silken smoke
lovingly brushing my
painted skin,
I gather iridescent thought-threads,
knotting the lot to my
talisman.
phantom crimson sluices over
serrated sleeping steel,
off the edge.
black and restless hunger scrapes inside,
but a sacred purpose
leashes it.
this mirrored blade reflects sharp dharma;
I will never murder,
I will hunt.
Author notes
My username is intoothandclaw. As of this poem's writing and entry I have three silvers and a bronze. I have other poems in other contests, though, and if I happen to win a gold between now and then, I'll DQ myself if you don't first. Somehow that doesn't seem likely to happen, tho'. 
I just kind of made this "form" up as I went along. Six verses of three lines each with syllable count 9-6-3. It was more an OCD habit than a consciously constructed "form", but I kind of like how it flows anyway. Let me know what you think, if it warrants re-using for other poems. I used both color and texture. If you want what I consider the specific count, I have these textures (smooth, silken, serrated, and sharp) and these colors (crimson, silver-grey, black, mirrored, and iridescent.) I didn't intend to make them all "s" words, it just sort of happened.
A contest entry
- Haven't had one of these in a while... by Luckintheshadows.
700 points, ended December 1, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hi there!
The images in this poem are very vivid. I like how you weave in all the 'threads' throughout the poem and leave the actual item to the reader.
I love the form, even though when trying to reveal a specific item (knife), I would find a stanza form tighter so that the descriptives are bound together better. This is just my opinion.
I giggled regarding the OCD thing, but not to worry. The left brain wants to signature a right-brained attribute!
I invent forms as well. Good for you! You should give it a name for publishing purposes. ( I did)
As for the criteria, the words used were not in from the choices required. Could you adjust these so that it qualifies?
Should/when you edit, please let me know.
Overall a very good piece! Thank you! -
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? What am I missing? I thought I was supposed to have four textures and four colors. They're all noted in the author's notes. Or was I supposed to use those *specific* textures/colors?
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Something about the way this reads and some of the words you used, is very interesting. I really like the last 3 lines the best, but the whole thing is very good.
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