When rain falls I think of you.
When the sun rises I feel your warmth.
Last night I couldn't sleep.
When the wind blows I hear your voice.
When the sun sets I see your face.
This morning I couldn't speak.
When the day comes I wish of you.
When the birds fly I ask you why.
When the dogs bark I want to rip out your heart.
This afternoon I just stared.
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A contest entry
- Line Prompt by crivanea.
300 points, ended October 28, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make My Heart Cry by AbsoluteBrightness.
1400 points, ended November 7, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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haha I was thinking awe how sweet than I read
'when the dogs bark I want to rip out your heart'
very intense. -
Well this one has quite some frustration in it... not sure about using 'when' that much, but that's just my personal opinion.
Thank you for the entry!
Leander -
Very beautiful and soft piece....
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I like this poem very much. It sounds like alot of relationships. Love and hate, seems to go hand in hand. I like how you identified rain and sun and nature with the emotions felt for the person in this poem.
Great piece!!!
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when the dogs bark I want to rip out your heart..that was an intense line....
This afternoon I just stared.
This morning I couldn't speak.
i notice the change in time...nice poem..some potential for this piece to be develop further. thnx for the entry
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