This night's long
But let it go on an' on
So I may wove some more dreams
Before the darkness' gone
So I may have some sleep
and lose myself in the world so deep
The stars, Their enchantments
Let them be there
So I may stroll in their light
With my feet bare
So I may watch for a while
The sky's charming smile
And this blackness
Oh let it surround
So I can shed all tears
Without have to reveal my wound
So I can beacefully lay
Near that silent bay
This haunting Silence
Let it stay too
So I may hear
Wind's song sung for you
So I can make a sound
That's not lost unfound
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Beautiful
Our dreams are brightest in the darkness, and your emotion shines through in this thoughtful and evocative piece!
I liked the line "The sky's charming smile"..it reminds me of a few nights ago when the crescent moon, Jupiter and Venus formed a smiling face in the sky.
"Near that silent bay" is another one that shows the peace you feel here..and I can imagine myself safe on an island in the cosmic ocean.
The fourth stanza completes the intensely mystical atmosphere, but it seemed to create a sense of loneliness and maybe sadness.. "That's not lost unfound" suggested to me a desire to be free in the endless night. I liked it.
There might be a typo in the second last line of 3rd stanza, and I think 'wove' should be 'weave'.
Overfall the rhyming scheme worked really well, and the whole poem flowed nicely.
Beautiful image created, tinged with sadness, longing, and a serene acceptance...
Good luck
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Beaututiful poem. Lovely flow. I truly enjoyed it.
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You made the sky smile! Awesome thought. I love this piece. Needs a little technical stuff, but you got your point across. Hiding in the dark, so you can cry - nice. very lovely! Keep writing!
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I love the imagery you put in this piece.. the pictures you draw infront of the readers eyes.. Great write..
However I think in second last stanza you meant "peaceful" instead of "beacefully"
I loved your poem.. Keep on penning those!
Peace,
Lonely
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great wording.nice .i love it.keep on sharing these beautiful poetry.
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