We love you
Always have and always will
I hope this goodbye
Is only temporary
We love you
It's hard not to, isn't it
You're just so amazing
Please don't leave
We love you
You're our singing partner
Our sister and friend
Time moves too fast
We love you
Who will be crazy with me now
You bring out my fun side
More than anyone else
We love you
You haven't left yet
But I already miss you
I don't want to say goodbye
Author notes
I know this piece is definitely not one of my best... It's emotional to me (I was sobbing my eyes out while trying to write it), but I don't know if anyone else will be able to feel it.
Does it flow well? Could you feel the emotion?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great piece. Really shows true emotion. It really shines through. I like the form with the repetition and the flow is really good.
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very good. Of course I can relate because I miss Aly too! keep it flowing
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Well I felt it
Sometimes simplicity brings out the best in your poetry, which it has. It really is moving. There is a line that strikes me as slightly awkward:
"Please don't leave yet"
If you get rid of the "yet" it would be fine.
I also like the changes in length of the lines. When you're upset, thoughts, words, actions happen in irregular spurts. That is very well conveyed.
Simplicity is good. And the length of the poem is just short enough to bring it out. The only other thing working against it, in my opinion, is that the last stanza seems a bit 'corny'. These are lines used and abused time and time again in pop culture. Maybe edit them a little. Just a suggestion.
Otherwise, I look forward to your next one!
P.S. I'm sending you a loving, caring cyber hug to comfort you!
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Thank you so much for the cyber-hug!
I really appreciate your comment and suggestions, as well. 
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that is the best thing about poems from that heart, the laughter, the tears they all come in loud and clear, keep it flowing
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