Swallowing lump over lump dulls the feelings
Yet, they swim around you,pulling one down into the dumps
The feeling of unbelief sings at your soul
As the day closes for the night I maybes set in to haunt one self
The pictures lay out to remind me my love is gone
Our short time we learn so much,yet we knew too little
To feel true glory in love even in it in perfected state
Now I sit alone with my dogs
Deeply wondering why were our hugs so short
Short kisses as we rushed out into the fury of life
Holding hands where ever we could
I miss those hands clasp times
My one re grate was I wished we could of done more together
Another death arrive this summer my husband first in May then
my brother in August
My soul is worn out to threads ripped out of a torn picture
A
Comments
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You have written a poem from a hurting and lonely heart, the emotion and sadness are felt line by line. Once again I pause to whisper a prayer for you, that when your time of grieving passes, your joy of life will return in full measure. Hugs from your brother Dennis
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-Hugs-
Know you are loved, and you have souls who are here with you through the pain. Much love sis, your brother, Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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In the third line of the first stanza, "unbelief" should be "disbelief". In the first line of the second stanza "I" should be "the". "one self" should be "oneself". The third line of the second stanza should start with "In". The seventh line should read, "To feel true glory in love even in its perfected state" "Deeply wondering why our hugs were so short"
"where ever" should be one word. "wherever"
My one regret was I wished we could have done more together.
Another death arrived this summer, my husband first, in May, then
my brother in August.
My soul is worn; threads ripped out of a torn picture
I hope this helps and if you have any questions just message me. I am so sorry for your losses. It must be a really tough time for you. Blessings, Patty
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sad
I know you still are heartbroken sis..
Bless your heart
They do say time heals...
Until then take care of you
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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I love the content of your poem and can tell it is straight from your heart. There are some spelling and grammatical errors I would like to help you with if you are willing. Some people feel offended by this, but I am really only offering out of kindness. It is how we all grow as writers when we accept help from others. Let me know if it is okay to point the errors out. You did a nice job, and thanks so much for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty
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You have suffered enough - time for the good things to come your way. This is very heartfelt and touching. I wish you all the good things that can come your way. You are strong and a survivor.
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