Lost, Found

Far away from home, from you
I stare dumbly at cheap and spineless watercolours

I have fallen, ashamed
alone.
teary eyed and primordially slain.

Awake. Cigarette breath stained soul
Far away, yet close
Like the silver stars beyond the clouds.
Somewhere, the sky is matched to your eyes
star twinkles hidden in depths of blue.

But not here.
The block is dark and I
as delicate as a babe in womb, am numbed
with amniotic haze

Whiskey, gin, beer
boxed wine
all serve a consoling comfort and hide

Memories of life gone by
I crack, numb smile, liver stained tears
the cough, maroon life spilling between fingers
nicotine stained, shaking, fearful this is the end
knowing the fight is done and wishing

One last look, neck craned and
ears open
listening to your crystal voice sing lullaby

Blue eyes pierce my bubbled soul
I weaken,  I falter
the faint print of a smile paints itself forever on my face.