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Cemetary Cinderella

 

 

Sometimes hard to pull away
from the systematic trepedations
of these sutured emotions...

cold and calous,
serene and sublime

 

She left my heart by the window

knowing winter was on the rise-

 

frost crystalizing my lips

with every breath I took

 

Bye bye, babii

we missed you at church today

 

the cross on the steeple

not as symbolic as the one

at your grave

 

 

 

 

 

Just be honest. If you don't get it, it wasn't for you.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 2
    Edit | Reply
    :: sigh ::
    Oh wow.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Dark Otter
    April 10

    Edit | Reply

    I like the work!

    I like its appearance and the emotional connection that it gives.

    Three typos: trepidations, callous, crystallizing

    You did well with creating images with your word choices. A good, symbolic piece that tugs at the heart.


  • SaraTalon
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    This was quite wonderful. I actually felt the cold.

  • RechercheCadaver
    November 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a picture you have painted so such few words! These lines are perfect "the cross on the steeple

    not as symbolic as the one

    at your grave" To me, it seems to say that faith is something personal, that faith sterilized and removed from the events of life can never be as strong as the faith we have and love we have for the people in our life.


  • PerfectImperfection
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is a great flow to this... Well spoken depth to ponder, emotion coursing with or without substance for cure. Pained, powerful, and also somewhat apathetic to blend in. Nicely done!


  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How wonderful of you to add it to the group list.
    What a peculiar piece, written in just your style, a style I have always love and come to love more.

    I hope you are well, Menace, for I think of you
    on occasion, even still


  • close to home
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    This made me feel overwhelmed with emotions and sorrow. great write though, i liked it all the same.


  • Brooklynn Tainted gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... That was awesome. The emotions were really noticable and I love the title and picture. Your a great writer :]


  • written-in-ink
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow


    it made me breath heavy
    i dont know if that mde sense
    but
    yeah


    • Menace
      October 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      I feel ya

      Doesn't take a lot of words to pull emotion...or the lack thereof in my case. This was a fun one. hehe

1 - 10 of 10