Conclusion

i.
Sometimes I feel as though I am trying to draw my life with watercolour pencils. Like I'm slaving over a dirty cracked sidewalk, pouring my soul onto a patch of pavement, only to watch it melt together into chaos when the storm clouds venture too close. Unable to stop the rainsdrops and tearstains from washing my soul into the roadside gutter. Leaving me in a pool of gin, my mouth stuttering words in its dumbstruck, numb state.
'I am whole'

ii.
I tried to fasten my heart to a shooting star with scotch tape, expecting a chorus of lullabies to wisk me away to their silver hosts.Somewhere far away from these hotel rooms and secon-hand cigarettes. But my heartstrings couldn't hold. They snapped, and I tumbled back to earth, landing on a patch of metal sand, held captive by my trivial attempts at freedom.

iii.
Sometimes I stare at the newspapers soggy print, attempting to seer though its scholarly, iron block, to penetrate my way into a world where newspapers have no epitaphs, simply blue skies and job adds. But the neatly typed words remain unbearably flat. Staring back at me, collecting small peices of euphoria from my mind, coaxing them into a deep depression to match their front page tragedies.

iv.
Sometimes I hold my breath, to see if it makes a difference. If somehow the shivers that journey through my spine might curl around the hearts of passerbys, caressing their ego's before punching their lovehandles. I know, I'm crazy. But I can't help but hope that if I loose my dependency upon this earth, I could maybe maroon myself upon another one, one that is all clear caerribean waters, crystal sunsets and plump orange melons dripping their juices onto the polmegranate trees...

I'm sorry...I'm rambling again

Its just sometimes I can't help but think the world is made of a delicate glass, simply waiting for uncaring hands to shatter it,
then for someone to come along and place it upright, sewing the shards of glass into their bloodstained lips.
and we all know, things are much easier to break,
than to fix.