a pillow soaked in treacherous lies
left dormant while you play
catching the blood dripped in fear
of the loss of my illusion
yet it will never dry
i awake each morning with wet hair
and heavy heart
weighted by regret
and despair of failing yet again
while i fell
to sleep
your past love did creep
sauntered past the defenses
laid to rest as my body tried to rest
but mind ran a fuckin three legged marathon trapped in a circle of impending loss not yet processed
mobius of patho's death
forgetting to stitch the bind of all that unwound
like yesteryears slinky tied to a runaway trrain
the other end held by bleeding palms offering all
to those unworthy
fuckin resurect me already
or roll back the boulder
and cancel easter
fuck that bunny
she lied
A contest entry
- {This is} What HURTS the MOST ;; by Candy Morphine.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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"fuckin resurect me already
or roll back the boulder
and cancel easter" very emotional and smartly woven together...I found myself reading the ending a few more times, to savor it
one small thing, "trrain"...an extra "r" maybe?
Well done, best of luck in the contest as well
later~slightly
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[treacherous] -great choice of words.
the third line had great emphises on being trapped in fear.
i like how the start and the end of the first stanza rhymed. almost hidden.
{layed to rest as my body tries to rest} does tend to feel a bit awkward due to the fact of 2 #rests#
I L.OV.ED. this poem. excellent.
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thnx, appreciate that. I think the line about the mobius of pathos death will inspire a new write of its own, i had hope it would be spawned sooner, but the muse has her own timelines. thanx fer throwin this shindig
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its very wild and uncontrolled, i think that might attract some, repel others.
My favourite parts are
while i fell
to sleep
your past love did creep
sauntered past the defenses
roll back the boulder
and cancel easter
fuck that bunny
she lied
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