Smoke poured out like frozen breath
Only not so clean
Floated 'round on wings of death
So silent and unseen
He opens his mouth to say goodbye
But all that comes out is a broken scream
His throat is raw and all that smoke he saw
Mocks everything he's ever been
Oh, he knows
He's been told
He'll pay for his indulgence
When he gets old
He's only seeking comfort
But he's left with just a hole
Oh no..
Smoke poured out like spilled regret
Like words he couldn't speak
He saw himself for what he was
And never felt so weak
He knows, he's gotta free himself
He's got a problem, doesn't know what it's about
He knows it's gotta be him
Can't be anybody else..
Why can't he just put it out?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"Smoke poured out like spilled regret"
oh, the sting of regret...
"He saw himself for what he was
And never felt so weak"
that line is so symbolic. it's thrilling!
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Excellent
An excellent write, my friend. And I say this as a chain smoker. How ever, I saw some intriguing reports on the Internet, at this site . I'm not a medical practitioner, so I can't comment on their accuracy. Yet if one of them is true, I shall continue to smoke. One report claimed that the use of nicotine helps to delay the onset of Alzheimer's disease. Of course, these reports also state the negative side of smoking. Perhaps you might like to read them for your self and make up your own mind. Here's the google link for the site I mentioned above:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=%3Cnicotine+%2D+health+benefits%3E
Also, you might like to check my lists on my profile page, especially my Risque, and Whimsical lists.
All of my poetry is now in various lists.
Hope you have a good day. -
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Thanks for the comment, it's been ages since I was on here. I stopped writing for a while because I found most of my writing sounds the same, similar rhyme schemes, etc.. But I'm trying again so I don't just completely stop altogether lol.
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..never stop writing.
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You are welcome. I'm glad your back, 'cause I do like your writing, and hope you will review some of my Whimsical and Risque poetry, as I'll continue to review yours. Hope you and your friends didn't get into too much mischief, while you were away from AP! (lol)
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