Your caustic words
have effect to oppress
elegantly tearing down
the walls I’ve so painstakingly built.
Whispering through the keyhole
holding in confidence
your fears and secrets
a gourmet of lies designed
to lure me out into the open.
Your clicking tongue,
the ticking clock,
driven half mad with tempo
yearning beyond the bounds
where I could ever rightly conceive
to be able to function.
Your elegant whispers
tore down my walls
you slipped through the keyhole
forcing open the door
from inside.
Your corrosive laughter
creeping throughout
melted together
our sorrowful essence.
Author notes
What do you think? I'm not even sure if this is a love or a hate kind of thing.
A contest entry
- Word Bank Quickie by Polaja.
1200 points, ended October 19, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Romance by PastelMoons.
800 points, ended February 4, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How does this make you feel, what images come to mind?
Comments
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It sounds like a bad relationshiop
'kind of thing' to answer your question.
First let me say the metaphors you choose
are so clever. my favorite lines--
'a gourmet of lies designed
to lure me out into the open.'
Powerful imagery, dark, sumptuous, delectable
I love it!
Thanks for sharing
~Pastel
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I still love it!
thank you for entering
~Pastel
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This is a very intense poem - I like that intensity ... the clicking tongue and ticking clock were nicely placed together
corrosive laughter is also a very interesting image - thank you for your entry!
Keep writing
Polly
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