Missing A Wing

Wanted: One wing.
I lost it a long time ago.
I sadly outgrew it,
for some reason threw it
and lost it somewhere down below.

I tried everywhere I could think of.
I asked everyone that I knew.
All I found in each place
was a smug, mocking face
that would laugh and say 'oh, silly you!'

'Fancy losing a wing, how could you?!'
'Why should WE help you search for this thing?'
I said I ain't being funny,
but I'm no good at running,
and what's the use of a bird with one wing?

I saw it in the papers the other day.
Humans praising and thanking the Lord.
'It's an angel'!' they say,
as they hide it away,
along with all other things that they hoard.

They'll put it in museums or an auction.
Think they know about that mythical bone!
Well the problem with Heaven is
it's not here in Devon
and I have to fly up if I want to get home.

I can't make it on one wing, y'see.
I need the other if I am to ascend.
I'll have to hang round instead,
scaring kids in their beds
until someone will help make amends.

I know you'll say that it's all my own fault,
shouldn't have thrown it, should've clung to it tight!
Well I just want it back,
so if you'll cut me some slack,
I'll pay you handsome for your help. All right?