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Enraptured

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She was used to being woken
by…that man

but this morning
he held her captive

notes mingled with
the jasmine perfume
and drifted through
the open window
to reach her wakening senses


behind closed eyelids
she pictured his long, slender fingers
playing the keys…
teasing the first few bars
the way they had teased her
just a few hours ago

the stars receding, the sky
kissed by purples, pinks and peaches
of an early sunrise
joined effortlessly
with the music of
the moonlight

she lay enraptured
cocooned in sensual pleasure
knowing this was a
performance for one

he played for her

and her

alone.

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Mainzy
    October 20, 2008

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    Very sexy and very visual, I love how you described the jasmine scent, and the mans long fingers on the keyboards. Very sensual write! Thank you....very much for the entry in the contest


  • feetus
    October 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    This is an exceptionally
    beautiful piece. There's really nothing
    more I can say.


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely piece you have penned
    Enjoyment from start to end


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How do I follow Mairi's comment?

    Your musical pieces in form and rhyme have always been amongst your best, now you are showing you were just teasing, in FV you are outshining even those.

    This gets a Fan-Bloody-Tastic to go with a NB.NHB.NHBAA

    Yep!!!


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Humph. You've never given ME a "Fan-Bloody-Tastic", you mean git!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting, Sue. I am astonished, however, that no reviewer has pointed out the fact that there is almost a hint of danger to this; ignoring, for a moment, the musical inspiration of the piece, the first two lines make us catch our breath. "That man" - he has woken her before, but why? How? To what end?

    Suddenly the danger has passed, but immediately it is replaced. Before, we might have imagined her in a locked room, or chained to her bed, or somehow coerced to remain (just by your first two lines!). Now we know that she is free to go at any time, but that the music holds her.

    What we now popularly call the "Moonlight Sonata" is only the first (adagio) movement of a three-movement piece. Your poem sets it beautifully in its wistful key of C-sharp minor.

    This poem could truly be the thoughts of the Contessa Giulietta Guicciardi, whom Beethoven loved and for whom it rumoured he wrote this music; to me, its sparseness and free form suggest long pauses of held-breath, long periods of simply listening, and the love which she did not express directly to the composer. Was the "teasing" of his fingers in her imagination, her fantasies? Appropriate if it were, because Beethoven headed the composition "quasi una fantasia".

    Three bunnies, without hesitation.


  • Learning2PaintYou
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting. I like how you said he played it for her and her alone. The way that you tied the beginning and the end together with some type of performance was effective.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such beauty wrapped in sensuality and satisfaction at being well-loved... this kind of poem can actually make us jealous! Or at least wistful for the same sort of delight you've captured so strikingly here. Your writing is wonderful, and I enjoy reading your work very much.


  • parenchma
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I admire the creative way he woos...
    Tantilized by the distance
    Sound coming through the window
    with summer scents
    dawning love


  • Jesann gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How beautiful!!!
    "cocooned in sensual pleasure".. great.
    Your words capture a wonderful mood and feeling.
    Stunning pic!


  • arafura gold member
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well done! Beautifully expressed.


  • deercatcher
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely gift. To play skillfully for a loved one. Or to write just a skillfully...

  • Bob Fox
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    My

    this is oh so beautiful. a masterpiece poet. Love abounds in your words.


  • Sunshine Always
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write Sue yet again, and what a background. Feelings and imagery wonderful.....mal


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I had a sense of being wrapped in a coccoon of beautiful music. Great imagery.

    Mike

1 - 15 of 15