The face, it launched my thousand battleships,
Seasoned armour rising to my defence.
Over the brow of the Knight in dark sweat drips,
Eyes calculating, tense.
Our prisoner is bound within her tower,
The odds of victory pleasantly absurd.
Truly, for one to possess such power-
Am I mistaken, is it not unheard?
Yet, my diligent Knight, he fails to take stock
Of digits accustomed to peace and lullaby.
And suddenly it is deemed inadequate-my fetters,
All this by a man who utters no war cry!
Why is it the bolt is drawn back
As if teased along with grease?
Why, while I don’t stay the attack
Do I drop my dagger with ease?
The battle lost; conch shell, blown.
And thus it shall be repeated over dinner tables
That ridiculous, sorry rhyme
Of how I was never able
To protect my heart in time.
A contest entry
- love of a lifetime by Storm-Goddess.
550 points, ended November 15, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options for the masses! by blackchapter.
550 points, ended November 18, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Me Up In Rhyme by piccola.
700 points, ended November 24, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Curse of Passion by Sokarjo.
1200 points, ended December 15, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! Options! and more Options!! PW by Patience15.
780 points, ended January 6, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Against All Odds, We Touched the Stars with Our Toes by PaintedParisPassion.
550 points, ended December 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Of Legends by Flight of Dragons.
1000 points, ended January 25, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is my best.Please tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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like the ending.. and your rhyming is good too.
i enjoyed reading it..
thanks for entering and wish you all the luck
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Interesting
different and unique, I like your wording and style. thanks for entering my contest.
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Thank you for the thoughtful comment!
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This is great. I love the form and the flow of this piece. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck. Keep writing.
Peace and love
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Thank you for taking the time to comment.And for the nice words!
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Option 7.d) in the contest by Patience15
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Love this. :-P Love the ending especially!! A fantastic piece, so well written. Very well done! Not quite what I am looking for for this specific contest, but a great piece nonetheless. Thank you for entering! :-)
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Very very nice. Congratulations on the Bronze
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Thanks once again!
Told you you're infectious! Lookit me exclaiming all over the place! -
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Hey, hey now! Exclamation marks are fun!
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So I'm beginning to see!
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Hahahahaha
^^ See, no exclamation mark. HAH! Damn! I couldn't control my fingers there and here!!
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This is a wonderful write but errrrr how is it supposed to cheer me up? If you can show me then maybe ... but thank you for the time it took and the thoughtfulness to enter.
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http://kidchan.deviantart.com/art/Snow-Firefly-40841587
The image just reminded me of the title of this poem.I suppose you could interpret i differently but this is how I see it.
Thank you for the lovely comment.It is much appreciated. -
This is a brilliant poem, possibly one of my favourites by far... it feels so epic and ends almost tragically.
...however, you haven't mentioned which option it is, so I can't judge it accordingly. Please let me know as soon as possible!
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Thank you!
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very well written
this was very powerful piece great job i loved it good luck and your back ground only adds to its grace -
Thanks
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The title caught my eye right away. Excellent idea I think. As for the content, it felt as if a battle of mind was at work. Your first stanza disarmed me...I really liked it. These 2 lines from it were so powerful to me:
"The face, it launched my thousand battleships,
Seasoned armour rising to my defence."
This piece seemed as if it was saying, "I fit in this piece but do I look right here?" (I made that question up ... smiling) - But that might be an area to look at.
This entire piece kept me engaged to learn about the ending. Whatever it is that needed protecting, the imagery and ideas conveyed here worked great for me. Wonderful job with this.
AsIThink...
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Thank you so much!
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Wow, this is a really great piece. I can tell you've put some time into the idea and the way you chose to word this. Love the rhyming which you clearly worked on as there's not a boring trite rhyme in the poem.
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
