cobwebs
weave on beats of
fighting flies stirring storms
inside baby's eyes keep born worlds
warmly
Author notes
A Cinquain.
Syllable-count: 2/4/6/8/2
concerning a fear for dehumanizering
A contest entry
- Poetry Formed XXXVIII - by Bear - by Arkbear.
825 points, ended October 22, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I liked this form! somewhat new to me yet it looks like a fly!
All the best in the contest!
Becks
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Outstanding
This is not an easy form to write and this is an interesting and very abstract poem. I like the way you use language in such an unexpected way creating unusual nuances. An inspirational poem.
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Thank you
You have raise my level of confidence 
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Hey Nev ~
Ya know....I almost see the same vision as another entry......hunger and flies in the eyes of dieing children...........aesthetics are perfect....I just wish I could grasp this more on 2nd * 3rd reads......lots to ponder here.......gosh......not sure what to say my Friend
Please let me know in next 15 minutes.....God bless you!
Bear ~
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Hi ~Bear,
Yeah, this was a difficult one. After your comments I edit it, I hope it isn't against the rules. I replace the word "into" by "inside" and "inside" by "warm". The poem was not ment to show death eyes of baby....No way...not my intention....its more by new-borns are whole universes visible in their eyes. No framed thought patrones yet.
Ans the flies? I got inspiration by flies in my room, leaving me pondering. My intention isn't a dark poem, neither a horror-like one. Sorry Bear..I hope it isn't too confusing. Sometimes I even understand my own poems anymore
May God also bless you!
Nevel -
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Better.....but last L has to be ( 2 ) sylls
....but I think you knew that.....get some rest!
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omg....yeah..lol...
I will soon
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