I'm sick of tears lulling my weary body to rest each night,
and watching my soul crumble into oblivion.
Your words stand naked, ice tearing at their meaning.
It is that of forgotten heroes and untold tales,
of fearless nights and bright mornings.
They are that which you will not recall, for their meaning is void.
Your words will fall from their dramatic suspension.
With them will tumble fate's last wish for us:
a broken piece of nature's finale,
the last shard of my once complete heart.
I will pick it up, grasp it warmly,
carry it with me, only looking back to remind myself why I face forwards
and to continue the lesson taught by wars previously waged.
So, pages in hence, this book will not be closed.
Author notes
Just to clarify:
"It is that of forgotten...untold...fearless...bright mornings."
-----refers to your (or...actually, his) words' meaning
"They are that....void."
-----refers to those heroes, tales, nights, and mornings
"...nature's finale"
-----sunset
message me with any other questions, I'm willing to answer
A.N.: t e a r s y o u b l e e d [without the spaces]
A contest entry
- WOW ME! by Kp.s.
1982 points, ended February 12, 2009, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the asylum rounds;; auditions. [do you have what it takes?] by heavenbird.
800 points, ended August 6, 2009, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver dollars and empty lungs (prewrites) by Writing0Freedom.
600 points, ended January 24, 209 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
You like?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I felt this didn't have very much emotion in it, and struggled with imagery. I think it has potential but needs more 'show not tell' . It has possibilities, if you choose to strengthen bits of it though. Thank you for entering!
Writingfree -
22 / 25
This was a well done piece, thanks for sharing with me! -
Very nicely written. I thank you for taking the time to enter the "Fight for the Gold" contest. I really like line 6, reminds me of me, I post a poem and it is forgotten as soon as I close the page, therefore becoming void, to me at least.
Until somebody reads it and gives a review and I think to myself, Self: what's that poem about huh? 
best of luck to you... Scott
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Great!!
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Woooww.. That's all I can say. Wow. This describes emotions perfectly, the numbness and tears that depression haunts with. I love it, that's all I will say.
Thank you for entering, and good luck. ♥♥
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yes
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Full of imagery and powerful words. And lots of emotion. I think you could name it something else...unless you named it untitled thats fine. Good job
Best of luck and thanks for entering
Kate -
yes, but you'll have to work hard.
i see potential.
please wait for the other judges comment. -
yess.
This is a great poem, full of powerful images. Though I think it could have been a little longer, the words are intense, and yet how you ended it was strong.
Thank you for entering♥ -
Very good, especially love the second stanza. Great theme. Thanks for entering =]
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Thanks for entering!
Okay, first off, you have used punctuation well in this piece. However (and I'm saying this as someone who did the same thing for years!), you really don't need to capitalise the first letter of every line - the beginning of each sentence will do fine.
There are no spelling mistakes - yay!!
You have amazing imagery and a wide vocabulary in this poem; great work, my friend. A strong piece throughout.
Overall, I really enjoyed this write.
Thankyou so much for entering, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
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Ooh cleverly crafted indeed
and such unique thoughts
entwined.
This was superb!
Thanks for entering & best of luck -
Your first line captured my attention completely, and I was immediately expecting something very interesting. You did not disappoint- this is truly an excellent poem. It is full of just the right amount of frustration, mixed with these sort of sad, ominous depictions. You really hit the nail on the head.
This stood out for me:
"A broken piece of nature's finale,
The last shard of my once complete heart."
I love heart references, especially when it is used in such an effective context, it brings a touch of originality back to a tired metaphor.
Excellent job, all the best and thanks for entering,
KP
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very nice.
good luck. :] -
Your writing is fabulous. I have enjoyed reading your poems. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me.
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authors name? thats my main question.
well written with excellent images in the opening line of tears lulling the body to sleep and the soul crumbling. powerful and emotional. thank you for entering -
Very good
Good job here, poet, deserving
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a powerful write!
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