The flicker of a candle, the creaking of a door
I hear a tip tip tapping upon the wooden floor
An icy vapour trickles upon the window pane
A breath sighs in the darkeness and then cries out in pain.
I see white bony fingers are pulling at the sheet
As empty sockets search out the skin upon my feet
The sharpened teeth protruding to take a sudden bite
I scream but no-one hears me this dark and dreadful night.
I scurry to the corner where other demons hide
The table's laid for dinner, their mouths are open wide
I run and they pursue me, there's nowhere left to hide
I see my life before me as blood runs cold inside.
A screech and it is over and yet I still remain
Within the realms of darkness and I can feel no pain
The flicker of the candle, the creaking of the door
For I am now the demon who seeps into the floor.
A contest entry
- Mystery and Imagination by knitonepearlone.
600 points, ended November 20, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Excellent rhyme acheme and use of imagery to tell this haunting story. Thank you for entering.
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Yowzer....great movement within your lines.....bringing me to an incredible ending......tons of imagery and erie visions to kept me engaged in your write.....very nice Ros......good luck in your contest and God bless you!
Bear ~
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Woow
Wooow i like the poem really good, I love it, Good work Poet. Be Happy -
An excellent focus on the ooutcome of fear.
"I run and they pursue me, there's nowhere left to hide I see my life before me as blood runs cold inside." Now isn't that a great description of human reaction when we come face to face with life's crises? Nowhere to hide? There are many ways to interpret the last paragraph. The traumas of life can either release us from further fear of similar events in future, or as your poem concludes the event may result in a change of personality which makes us the demon others fear.
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Wow. This is very imaginative and dark. The rhyming works really well. Nicely written, I liked it.
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that's interesting and makes me wonder what inspired you for this poem it is good no the less but, I don't understand what it about
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Excellent
Ah, a bit of a chiller for the month of All Hallows Eve. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
masterpiece
this is an utter masterpiece, it sent chills down me,n like a stephen king book stupendous imagry, i could feel those demons snapping at my anckles, the rhyming is so tight and spot on the rhythm easy so it does not detract from this excellent read.love the line the tables laid for dinner their mouths are open wide very clever painted a spine chilling scene well done thanks for sharing littlefishone
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This is very nicely done. Most haunting tales that I read on here are all blood and gore. This is a masterpiece of haunting proportions. The real terror is in the mind not in the blood and gore.
Great job.
Mike
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You are a master at these dark pieces, another cracker here
Fantastic
!!!
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