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Wasteful Goodbyes

Lying here waiting

breathing slowly

as promises lay broken

and shattered upon her chest

 

Aching and bleeding

from the inside out

cradled in filth

as his lies sting

within his final words.

 

Stretching across

bound and broken

upon his grave

begging for one more lie

and his final goodbye

Author notes

Prompt: Stretched On Your Grave

30 to 40 words

Be creative...make me feel...

Color outside the lines...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Sparkle The Pirate
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    Errie and yet so effective to the soul. Breaks my spirits down into little bits of dust and refuses to let me smile. Ur brill darl!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    Stretching across
    bound and broken
    upon his grave
    begging for one more lie
    and his final goodbye


    This is so sad in multiple ways. This is a terrific write hun. Keep up the good writing


  • Myjoy gold member
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is good, it really touched me too just on the matters of Goodbyes and lies......men can't live with them and can't live without them, in the best and worst ways.


  • Bohemianwriter
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Breathtaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    woooooooooooooow.......i need to catch my breath!..this was..... im kind of lost for words here with this!!!!!...defanitleyyyy a gold trophy winner!!!!!!
    i looked at your page and i see your a twilight fan and i would really really love if you went on my page and entered one of my contest its called "EDWARD CULLEN AND BELLA SWAN!!!" your extremley talented! and i would love to read what you may come up with i know its going to be genious!!...please enter! THIS POEM WAS 100/100!!!!!!!!!


  • Trill - Trickle
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa! This poem is magnificent! Absolutely, love it! Superb! I am speechless! Excellent writing! Keep on writing! its soooo relatable! Great emotion!


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can clearly see why this won gold in this contest. You used your words so very well and gave us such emotion. Brilliant. Best to you in the contest


  • WolfHeart
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Eerie and touching. You did not use an excess of words, just honed down to a tight and well-written gem. You brought memories to this reader, which is the sign of good poetry. Best of luck in the contest.


  • mysticstorm gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    How beautifully dark and creative...your words speak volumes and the last stanza make one feel it all...excellent...
    thank you for entering...
    mystic

     

    P.S. Great pic and background for your words. 

1 - 8 of 8