The Truly Unwanted Best Friend Forever

You've got a lot of nerve to have said what you did.
I usually wouldn't have taken it from anyone else.
I guess being a close friend gives you special priviledges, huh?!
Oh, you don't know what you did wrong?
Of course, because you're always right, aren't you?!
I'll start out by telling you I'm sorry...

I'm sorry for not always helping you
Through each hard time in your life,
Even though you could only respond to my troubles in a monotone.
I'm sorry for every time I didn't stick up for you,
Bruising and beating myself like a psychopathic suicidal maniac,
Even though it killed you to acknowledge my feelings.
I'm sorry for hurting you and making you feel less than human,
Even though you had no problem putting me down.
I don't recall you ever apologizing to me
For all the things you said.
And most of all,
I'm sorry you couldn't have more than one good friend like me.
I'm quite sure you told me I was the best you had,
But for some reason,
You treated me like a nuisance
In front of all the people you ever claimed to be untrue.
Did it ever once occur to you that maybe, just maybe,
I'm just as sensitive as you are?

I'm tired of you reminding me of how terrible and ugly I am.
I'm tired of you telling me that I'm an apathetic slob.
I'm tired of you saying that I'm a hypocritical traitor.
I'm tired of you slapping me and getting pissed when I fight back.
I'm tired of you hurting me like a senseless beast.
I'm tired of you killing my every hope of being someone different.
I'm tired of you calling me your hoe.
I'm tired of you fixating on the fact that men shy away from me.
I'm tired of you destroying my dream of leaving this place.
I'm tired of being UNWANTED!

Don't think I don't remember every time
You came to me crying.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You cussed me out.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You asked for my help.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You laid the guilt trip on me.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You wanted to talk to me, but I was busy.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You stopped talking to me because of something I said.
Don't think I don't remember every time
You made me talk to you because no one else was there.
Don't think I don't remember every time
I stayed awake at night, praying you were okay.
Don't think I don't remember every time
I cried because I felt like you
Didn't care,
Couldn't care,
Wouldn't care,
IF I SACRIFICED MYSELF FOR YOU!

Don't think this is just the beginning.
If you'd wanted to be around someone more glamorous...
Someone less masculine...
I wish you would've told me
Before you told everybody else.
I'll always want to be your friend,
But I can't keep trying to please someone
Who keeps asking for more than I can give.
Even you described me as one who swayed for nobody.
I apologize...
Because 'nobody' includes you.
If you want better looking friends,
Then I'll willingly leave at your command.
After all...
Why wouldn't you want to be in a crowd full of beautiful people
Who really and truly are
Wanted?
I know I would...
But I can't...
Because I love you and all those who love me for me
Too much to give you up for fame...
Even though you'd give me up in a heartbeat.
Who wouldn't?
Who wouldn't trade their current lives for the high road to glory?
I know I would...
But I won't...

So go ahead.
Tell me I'm nothing.
Tell me I'm hideous.
Tell me I'm insane.
Tell me I'm a reject,
A rebel,
An outsider,
A freak.
The Queen of Freaks, baby! That's me!
Remind me that you could do so much better than me.
I know you can.
I'll wait for you to give me an answer.
A true friend waits forever,
But for now,
Chase the glamorous fakes.
After all,
They are everything I'm not,
But most of all,
They're wanted...