Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

- Soul's Grieving Song -

Missing image

Glisten behind mirrors of tinted moon,

hopping from one star to the next -

Ink drying upon vellum worn,

faithful men of hope begin their journey long -

 

Thoughts diminishing, verses turned too soon,

sculpting crumpled mountains, fears long and convexed -

One after the other, lines ripped and torn,

another lyric stolen from my souls grieving song -

 

Fed from my muses' rustic spoon,

words dart in and out, perplexed -

Rebirth of memories, therefore, newborn,

forgotten lullabyes twirl into shapes oblong -

 

Spitting into your bronze, wrinkled spittoon,

inkwell over-flowing with pride and flexed -

Gather your assets, pour from your inkhorn,

prepare to be a part, to always belong -

 

Seduced by desires of quills immune,

searching through my mind, confusing and indexed -

Today, we mount against failure, no more to mourn,

travel with me as we converse, within pages furlong -

Author notes

A

Phyquain

                     created by Arkbear

 



MUST have 5 Quatrains -

No letter ( a ) in 1st L of each Q -
No letter ( b ) in 2nd L of each Q -
No letter ( c ) in 3rd L of each Q -
No letter ( d ) in 4th L of each Q -


ALL 1st L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 2nd L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 3rd L's must have same end Rhyme -
ALL 4th L's must have same end Rhyme -



Flow is a MUST!

Metaphores are a MUST!

Beautiful Poetic voice is a MUST!

 

Form credit to:

- Arkbear -

 

 

 

 

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Knight70 silver member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply

    I love this form you created!

    This is one of those pieces I will remember for quite some time. Each quatrain is a gem all its own. The language on display is elegant. The rhythmic end rhyme fits so perfectly together that the readers could get lost in the tranquity interweaving throughout without a moment's pause. Bravo, my friend!

    Don


  • Sarah957
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    My favorite combo of words are "souls greiving song" Thats beautiful and carries a lot of weight.
    I like the rustic spoon too =)


  • celticfairy
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done,nice work


  • BlankCanvas500
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    lovely. i really loved this poem. well done


  • Xianaria gold member
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    my head hurts i'll see if i can do this...


  • Swan song gold member
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Almost too rich for me, but good the kind of poem one needs to read more than once

    • Arkbear gold member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Jeff.....I appreciate your thoughts....always have

      Be well, Bear ~


  • Paloszoo gold member
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Today, we mount against failure, no more to mourn,
    travel with me as we converse, within pages furlong -

    Bear, you never cease to amaze me with your talent and beauty. I adore this piece, but especially those last two lines. However, if I had to pick my favorite lines, I'd cut and paste the whole piece. I'm simply mesmerized by your work


  • aboomer silver member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wording full of great images! You make this form look easy.....lol
    I like all of this, but especially:

    'Fed from my muses' rustic spoon,
    words dart in and out, perplexed'

    Lovely write.


  • Kappa Pyua
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting and you created this style! am I understanding that corrextly. This was a great piece by the way, thx for sharing.UNT


    • Arkbear gold member
      November 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hello......yes, this is another Form which I created.....I hope you are able to give it a try one day.....thank you for stopping by.....God bless you~!

      Bear ~


  • Captain Jenny
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent poem. Clever rhyming scheme... But this is a bit too hard for me ^^

    ~lae


  • Darkwell
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its a really beautiful poem my favorite line is

    Fed from my muses' rustic spoon,

    i think my muses spoon is rusty but i might try it later

    lovely piece Uncle Bear


  • Darkwell
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    no letter q in the no its no letter b in the second rhyme on the first tuesday no no *blows hair out of her face... no letters in the first quatraine thats not it (._.) NNnnnnnn


  • Sandygram silver member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!!

    Another new form you have blessed us with. Very nice, I like this one. The imagery you have penned is stunning and your vocab is superb!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Deserves many clappys. You take care. Hugs and smiles.

    Bless You and Yours,
    Love, Sandy

    • Arkbear gold member
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      God bless you Sweet Sandy......you are most kind

      Bear ~


  • Frozentearz
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh my Dear Bear you are always so busy bringing so much to many and so creative, A new form I see that many are eager to try. as always your expression of words is wonderful.
    Many blessings your way.
    Love and LIght
    Frozentearz


    • Arkbear gold member
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hello Sister Shey

      More blessings your way as well.....you are so kind.....may you be blessed for your loving Soul and compassion.....Brother Bear luvs ya......sorry so long to look at your latest......three weeks into this move have been BUSY!

      Whew!

      God bless you, and yes, I shall hop over right now

      Bear ~


  • maralisa silver member
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a very beautiful poem and a great new form thank you for sharing

    • Arkbear gold member
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!

      God bless you and thank you for stopping by

      Bear ~


  • AngelicMistress gold member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well:

     

    I am seeing more or less what you want,

    and I hope to come out "roses"

     

    Tahnk you son,

    love mami


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This clears up the bit about the end-line rhyme I'm quite excited to try this form

    L.

    • Arkbear gold member
      October 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am very excited to see such enthusiasm

      God bless and good luck!

      Bear ~


  • Riftkin gold member
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Bear, this is just lovely, and a new form, you are an artist my dear friend. I love your poem and the lesson after in your notes.

    ALL HAIL our great BEAR...



    Riffy

1 - 27 of 27