What else can a young mother say?
I wake up at night hearing you... and
I love and miss you Emily Mae.
"Minutes turn hours & the hours to days"
As no one, but you, can take my hand
What else can a young mother say?
When we put you to ground, the display
alone sent me into this no man's land
I love and miss you Emily Mae.
"I buried my heart with... To keep you at play"
in that field where the grey stones stand,
What else can a young mother say.
To those that we had, but went away
I want you to know, "I'm glad you weren't planned"
And I love and I miss you Emily Mae.
One day soon with you too I will stay
by your grave as a mother, and friend.
What else can a young mother say...
But I love you, and miss you, Emily Mae.
Author notes
To a mother that I feel has more strength, and courage, than
anyone I know, and I'm personally very proud of "Keeping the stars"
because indeed she is the keeper of such things, and someone to learn from.
Written January 27th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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wow, this brought tears to my eyes, i know of the pain that comes with burrying a child, this is such a heaertbreaking write, the pain is there for all to see woven between the lines, a wonderful write,
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Beautiful and heartbreaking... I really can't see what needs revision, its short but expresses love and loss beautifully
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I have come to admire your villanelles. They are unique in the respect that they don't rely on the common convention of meter but rather represent conventional song which remains true to its source in humanity -- villanelle after all does imply song before anything else. This particular piece evokes the ghosts of americana... emily may has such a classic sound. I would like to hear this put to music. A beautiful, plaintive ballad fo sho.
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Captivating
No one should have to bury a child, blessings to you for sharing the heart and soul and strength of a parent who does at times experience such loss.
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This peice is so deep...its amazing. I love it
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I found this to be very moving. You have a sure touch that shows joy in a situation where sadness is the background, and it is reassuring to see the balance of life presented with sentiment but not sentimentally. If that makes any sense.
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One of the saddest and beautiful things I have ever read..............What a special understanding person. Need a moment to reflect..............
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Jeremi,
I was thinking about this poem, and I wanted to come and visit it. The words are the song to my heart. I am grateful for this gift you gave me just a few years ago.
with love,
Criss -
good
You write so well, i think i need to learn from you, if i could write half as well i would be soo happy. This poem was ver emotional, and touching, i havent had to burry any children, but i have had to be there when young mothers burried their children, it must be so hard, i dont really know what to say more, the poenm made me sad, and i had to think. -
This is just so beautiful!!
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I was just looking through old poems... some that I had saved... and I came across this one.. and felt the need to thank you again. My heart is in a better place now then it was when this was written.. but this was probably the base stone, placed gently in my heart... that has helped me to move on...
Thank you for that Sweetie!!! -
that was very touching. so much emotion in the poem. wonderful write. good luck in the contest!
-britt -
(I saw this in the featured box again, and thought, "Hey, I'd better read that.")
This is really beautiful and gentle, and I can sense the mother's sadness and underlying strength. Nice work. -
Beautiful Tribute
This is beautifully written, Horus, and I know KeepingTheStars truly appreciates it as she grieves the loss of her 3yo little girl. I've buried two daughters, so I empathize deep inside. Grief is a very natural process: one moment remembering the joy and in the next instant plummeting to the pits of dispair; but, time heals and we move on and so will KeepingTheStars, for she has other children that need her and she knows it. Again, this is a superb write. ~~BonnieQ
Edited on Feb 01, 1:07 p.m. because 'Omission'. -
You know, I always read in poems when it is about a death of someone who they loved, whether by tragedy or just natural causes that the family always grieves, and that is understandable, but, usually that is all they do so I have seen in soceity today. They really hardly ever rejoice about the times they had with that person, they just look upon the negative and if they do at times look on the happy times they still go back and reflect on the negative.
That is sort of what I got from this piece. It sounded to me that the mother lost her baby (whether by abortion or by birthe) and she reflects (tho not much) on the joy and not the sadness of it all.
I don't know, maybe that doesn't make too much sense for a new borne or one really never borne. I don't know.
But, that is the image this piece gave me, and maybe it wasn't the image supposed to be received by this piece, but, that is the image I got.
In my perception tho it may be off, I find this to be endearing, and I really don't see the sadness that breathes within the words, maybe I choose not to.
A great piece that you have written here.
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Interesting villanelle... You do them very nicely. Sweet, but not too sentimental.
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well.This was certainly sad! Great none the less but sad. i cant nor do i want to even emagine what it must be like to loose a child. Knowing you carried a little baby around in your womb for nine months and then gave birth to it and then fell in love with it the moment he or she opened its eveys. It almost makes me want to cry! This was just so touching. I hope your fried males it through everything okay! Great write!
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beautiful...pure genius...
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Well I want to first say this is a great job. Kinda hard for me to comment on it. God has blessed me with 3 kids, all grown up now.Also he has blessed me with 3 grandaughters. 2 here and 1 with him somewhere in his heavens. I can not imagine the pain a young mother must go through are even how she could continue,for I know the pain and anger I felt that day my lil Elisa was taken away from us. My thoughts and prayers will be for the comfort of a young mothers heart whom You have chosen to write about. And may God bless You for caring. Thanks
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Good Job...This piece is able to convey the mother's feelings to the reader to where he/she himself can feel the pain.
"Minutes turn hours & the hours to days" These words really show the agony. Nice...
God Bless,
Anulka
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i can't imagine the loss of a child; wanted or not. i felt as though i'd been taken over by the slightest chill while reading this. maybe it was the repetition--i don't know. i hope she knows how you feel. it's certainly small consolation in the face of loss, but even small things are SOMEthing. i guess.
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this was such a beautiful poem. well written, great flow, mmm... i guess all i can say is that it was excellent, and very touching.
love, enid. -
touching. must take a whole lot of strength to put to words such sentiments.
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As usual sweetie i love your work..that will never change...you know that...the way your structure and words weaved through this poem so perfectly as usual always gives the right touch. The way it came off soo perfectly is always you. O yeah and i'm not going out with your brother....great write choder.
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If i understand this write correctly then, all my strength goes out to the lady you write of. Not many know i am actually a young mother, so, god, i cried reading that i really did. Such a deep write, what can i say? other than you have great talent and this write was so strong
I have chose to applaud it, but applause simply isn't enough for such a write
~Em x -
A touching and beautiful composition, Horus, I thought your author comment was particularly lovely also. You bring the dearness you feel for her to us all.
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No gift can surpass words from the heart ('cept maybe an F55 Spyder) and this is a wonderful gift. Keep on Keepin' on.
Trent -
*wipes tears from face* This makes me very sad...not only for the young mother in the poem, but because my sister's name is Emily, also, and I will most likely never see her again...this touches me on a very personal level, if not in the way intended...so I love it even aside from the fact that is very well written. Great work!
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From what I read, she must be strong. Sounds like she has suffered a great loss, that would likely have many mothers laying down in the grave with their children. Gave me goosebumps ..that's a good thing.
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beautiful :)
This is beautiful... i have no other words for it. Nice work! keep writing... i've read some of your other stuff and you have quite the tallent... keep writing. Don't give up what you're good at.
~Allison<3 -
I will comment, not because I'm obliged to do so but because I read a poem of supreme quality. Hail to the poet and may he break a finger and have writer's block forever!
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This is a ripper. What a great poem!!!
David -
You've written a beautiful and loving poem for Keeping the Stars and her sweet Emily Mae. It touches my heart with it's sincerity and love.
Dee
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very nice write , and a wonderful dedication for someone you find dear to you, I read her poem (Beyond the Grave) earlier so have some insight to what you write of, you have a pure heart Sir, and I know she appreciates friends like yourself, oh and one last thing, think the poem is as it should be,you wrote it, and that is it PERIOD, great job Sir ... God Bless.. JP *s*
Edited on Jan 27, 8:16 p.m. because ''. -
This is wonderful, a write from your heart that no one has a right to try and change...nothing bugs me more than someone saying and authors piece is wrong....
I know when I lived up North that is how I talked...Can I go with?
Will you take me with? I want to go with.
The point is, you were reaching out to someone who is in pain; trying to comfort and help in a poetic way.
I am so glad you did this for her, she needs to be held with love.
Sam
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Nyx ~~ Thank you.
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thank you!
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the applause is for keeping the stars...
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You have taken the words straight from my heart.
"I wake up at night hearing you... and
I love and miss you sweet Emily Mae"
Thank you for this~ I wish there were more that I could say, but I am speechless. -
"I buried my heart with, to keep you at play"
-she burried her heart with what?
people always have more strength than they think they do, the whomever up there wouldn't have it any other way, it just takes a nudge or help, to have them realize it.
hope she's okay
Nyx... -
god this really got me right there in the guts...how sad and cold and grey it felt ....
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