I picked up your shirt today,
And something dropped out.
I shouldn’t have even glanced,
But I read every page.
In the notebook I bought you,
You write about her.
In bed do you dream of her?
In my embrace are you longing for hers?
When we eat is mine the wrong face across the table?
You write over and over,
That you’ll never be the same.
You’ll always be empty,
Wishing for the day you’re again full.
She took everything from you,
Now there’s nothing left to give.
Why can’t I fill your heart and mind?
Why can’t I be your happiness?
Why can’t I be the one in your notebook?
I thought things were getting better,
You might be the one.
All along you’re dreaming,
Of life with another.
Deceiving me at every corner,
Pretending to want me.
How could you do this to me?
Why can’t you let me into your heart?
Can you really be pretending this well?
If I don’t make you happy,
Please just leave.
Stop playing games with me,
I’ve done nothing to desearve this.
I’ve been good to you since day one,
Never wronged you.
I deserve someone who loves me,
The way I love you,
The way you still love her.
Author notes
putting away the laundry today my boyfriends notebook fell out of his pocket...
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Hi "KJ"
Very nice... filled with the diappointments of love and the questioning of Why? that we all ask the universe... The last stanza was the perfect ending. An excellent write...
Ken
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"I deserve someone who loves me,
The way I love you,
The way you still love her."
While I enjoyed reading this entire poem from start to finish, it was definitely those ending lines that truly stole the show for me. Those are so perfectly put, and I love the honesty you portray there....the realism that mutual love isn't being reflected back in the right places by the right people. I'm not sure if this poem is true or not - It sounds like it is - But whatever the inspiration, there's many different kinds of love. We all need to find the ones who can match us emotionally. Love shouldn't be unbalanced. Excellent writing. I truly enjoyed this penning!
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wow
wow is this true? either way great work. it gets increasingly desperate and dark, which helps to drive home how hurt and exasperated you feel. it really shows how impossible it is to understand why this could happen.
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Wishing you all the best
Keep on writing. -
THIS IS GREAT I REALLY LIKED THE EMOTION YOU PUT INTO THIS PIECE ONE BIT OF ADVICE I WILL GIVE YOU IS TO SHOW DONT TELL, BUT BESIDES THAT A REALLY GOOD PIECE OF WORK WHICH KEPT ME HOOKED AND VERRY HONEST, PERHAPS ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE THEM TAKE CARE
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Thanks for you're comment!! I know what you mean by show don't tell. This is the only poem I've written in this way where I'm using actual events and facts, thanks for the advice!! I'm glad you appreciated the honesty.
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I deserve someone who loves me,
The way I love you,
The way you still love her.
so poignant.
never stop writing,
this is amazing.
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yu deserve better88///
you deserve beter you clearly love this guy though so maybe you should just show him this poem which is by the way excellent meaty gritty and very emotive nice write littlefishone
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I told him that I read the poem in his notebook about his ex by accident and he said that he hadn't been able to write for a while so he used their breakup as inspiration but it didn't mean anything. not sure if i really believe that but we're still together so.... Anyways, thanks for the comment.
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Oh Wow
Terrible reading indeed. Not the poem, the notebook dear. I am sorry that you are fraught with these emotions. Love is a callous thing at best sometimes. I'm here if you need me. Yours in poetry,gypsy
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you deserve better, we all deserve to be loved the way we love. Very authentic piece written with so much emotion.
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Nice piece ! Very realistic.I could sense the pain there. The title ,the subject are good as well.I am glad that after 5 years you decided to write again.
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