too many restless cold nights,
i am here in the darkness
embracing melancholy
tasting my bitter-sweet
tears,
aching for the love
that I lost.
sitting here
in my dark empty room,
so lonely and cold.
reminiscing the sad pasts,
all of the heartbreaking
stories that I had,
tasting my own bitterness
screaming deep inside in pain,
my heart is bleeding
for so much heartaches.
I’m so fed up.
my life such a mess.
got nothing but myself
hiding too much sting
in my heart,
pretending am fine
and nothing’s wrong
but am totally broken
deep inside.
wish somebody
could kiss my tears,
willing to pick up
my broken pieces,
willing to get hurt
for me to be whole again.
somebody who will stay,
despite of crazy storms,
somebody who are willing to
risk everything
just to see me smile…
somebody who would not start
another sad story.
Author notes
wish i could find happiness that i always long for,,,
A contest entry
- SAD Poetry--- Let Me Have Your Best by Ativan.
900 points, ended November 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This is the millionth poem I read about love. If you do a poem on the subject you must find a new way to present it. Nevertheless, you have some very revealing and interesting lines that do show uniquness, I just wish there were more. For example, Cold and empty room. You attempt to describe it more by adding on the next line "so" but so is just one of those words that you do not want to use because it doesn't really say anything. Be more descriptive and show how. Do you sit in the dark and cry to music that your parents hate? It is an example and not a great one but if you get what I am saying; you should shoot for lines like that. It is still very good and I enjoyed reading it. I got a lot out of the poem and I felt the dispair.
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