Time. Time. Time.
Why do you hate me?
Make me await thee?
Quickly evade me?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Saw the title and had to look. I have one entitled Time, you might like the metaphor/personification of time in it - but beware it's still under construction. This seems to be a subject that has captivated me lately. I like the incongruity in your last two lines.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5216445 -
Seems like a beginning to me, but I'm an asshole who tries to make every poem have a beginning, middle, and end. It sounds like a good opening hook, to draw someone in to a bigger piece. Time is obviously something that's very fun to play with in poem form though, and I hope you use this as a thought starter.
-
-
I know what you mean. It does seem unfinished. On the flip side I like how the brevity of it sort of fits my thoughts on how short our lives really are (depressing I know!). But I just may elaborate on it someday.
-
-
I love it the way it is. Time is such a thought provoking process. Thanks for sharing. hugs
-
Outstanding
This reads like a sudden inspiration that you needed to write down. I love the concept and am sure you could do much more with it - it has a lot of possibilities and yet it does work as it is- very short and to the point. Interesting to see if you make any changes- let me know if you do.
-
Oh I like the tone! Time is on my bad list most of the while. Great diction.
-
Yes, it's a stinky poem for you--for someone eles a masterpiece... will patiently await your rewrite!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
