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Playtime


She lifted me from the floor
and taught me to walk again.

To feel that I was as good
as any other person here.

Until boredom overtook her and
she grew tired and blase.

Then she pulled the rug from
under feet that were still unsteady
from too many years hanging against
ropes and tasting the heady mix of
leather, sweat and resin that the
world was force-feeding me.

This time there is no offered hand of help.

Only the toes of her boots playing games
along my ribs like she'd play a xylophone.







A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • chills gold member
    December 17, 2008

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    God - I am beginning to think that you feel very stepped upon. If so, join the club. Compare boot prints?! Chills


  • Rheea gold member
    October 25, 2008
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    A woman comes through once again here she is. I do not like this woman no I do not.


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 23, 2008

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    one too many rounds...

    This poem is one that the reader
    can take several ways, which I think
    is always fun, but I take it as a relationship
    gone through the mill and back again...

    Very well, done, John. I really like this.
    Love, Lane


  • My Souls Reflection gold member
    October 23, 2008

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    Wow, you certainly have a way with words that grabs at me every time. The imagery is great, it reminds me somewhat of the way my marriage played out. Great write!

    Annie


  • Lily of the Valley
    October 21, 2008

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    I don’t know about playtime, this feels more like oppression or betrayal to me. Perhaps some type of life experience that frequently kicks you in the teeth. What ever the source of this poem, the images and power which can clearly be seen and felt are created with intensity.


  • My Nemesis
    October 19, 2008
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    Wow. Interesting poem - It started out so hopeful - and slowly disintergrated into a dark hole.


  • Learning2PaintYou
    October 19, 2008

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    This is an interesting write. I'm curious as to what it's about. An illness, maybe?

    I like the 4th stanza

  • Topnotchsy
    October 19, 2008

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    Wow, I like this piece a lot (and judging by the comments and applause I am far from alone in this.)

    The idea is one that most could relate to, but the metaphors made the imagery brilliant and fresh. It's a sad tale, but you tell it so well that there is joy in reading of this sadness, and nodding in recognition, while grinning at a poem that is extremely well written.


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    October 19, 2008

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    Yike!

    What on earth is this about? Sounds like games played in a life I know nothing about! Is this about S&M? I'm & perhaps I should have waited to comment till tomorrow! This started out encouraging but now I'm sad! This is a riveting write, but I think I'm going to have nightmares now! The way you end this is a vivid pix:

    Only the toes of her boots playing games
    along my ribs like she'd play a xylophone.

    I'm going to have a hard time getting that image out of my mind, not to mention 'hanging ropes' and tasting the heady mix of
    leather, sweat and resin that the
    world was force-feeding me.

    for giving the Contest official what they wanted! You sure look like you've got a good shot at a trophy to me!


    • arafura gold member
      October 19, 2008
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      Nothing to do with S&M. That part of the poem is metaphorical.

      As is the reference to hanging on the ropes and tasting leather sweat and resin.

      Think of a boxer pinned against the ropes by his opponent and the sweat and resin that gets on the leather gloves.


  • ErrantHeart
    October 18, 2008

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    Ah well you know one has to be grounded in one's own self. Leaning on is leaning against when we really all can do our own walking, even though it is nice to do it hand in hand. Hand in hand. Barefoot. No playing xylophones only sweet tunes of loving.

    Oh, and perhaps avoid rugs. Because all we rugs are capable of tripping up the feet of others despite our good intentions. We rugs all too human.


  • rbruce gold member
    October 18, 2008

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    This is the kind of bitch that I never want to meet. A powerful poem here. I hope I never have to trust this ... er.... lady, to care for me.well done.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    October 17, 2008

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    WOW!!

    I like the starkness of these definitive moments in time, as you weave your profound verse and spill the secret of life: love many, trust few; always paddle your own canoe. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck in the contest!! Peace, Cyn


  • Jersene gold member
    October 17, 2008

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    she doesn't sound like a true friend...I love the last two lines...they are strong and speak loud, or should I say reverberate loud


  • Cynewulf
    October 17, 2008

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    Sounds like a bit of a bitch to me lol! Another slice of walking on the dark side ... I am really going to have to try something as hard-hitting & powerful as this. It is like a literary smack in the gob. Excellent.


  • Maedes
    October 17, 2008

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    she must be a very un-patient person...
    to share our pain to a friend is a releasing
    but to help a friend will give double happiness.

    maybe need to find another patient and helping person this time to avoid from her playing the toe of her booths along your ribs...

    success in your contest


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 17, 2008

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    Loved the title and how it links with the content of the poem. Quite an ironic ring to this poem... but the last lines are great - wonderful visuals there.

    ~ Nicolette


  • WolfHeart
    October 17, 2008
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    Great stuff. Unique and attention grabbing.


  • samantha jean
    October 17, 2008
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    I LOVE the last stanza. Honest. Powerful.
    Thank you for the entry, and good luck in my contest.

1 - 19 of 19