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What Tore Us Apart

The one thing that tore us apart is the one thing I will never touch again.
Wanting to be with you still tempts me just like the rain,
that comes and goes.

I can see that our love still shows.
The holding hands, the tenderness in your eyes,
makes it hard for me everyday to survive.

Knowing what it did, to make us seperate so far,
hurts me and tears my heart.
Yes, it tears my heart so much, that I can feel it.

The throbing, the pain, the whole entire search for your
trust I wish to gain.
I want you to understand, I was the water, you were the sand.

I want to hold your hand once again.

Magnets that deserve to be together, always and forever.
You know what I mean, baby, don't try to hide it. I know you want what we used to have.

But if we ever get it back, I will never touch that one thing that tore us apart.

Author notes

This poem I wrote because everyone has gone through a break-up that was because of what someone said or did, and it is very hard to get over it. Its always hard to get over your first love, the pain is so real and so vivid you literally get pain (headaches and migranes) from crying so much! But eventually you get over it and move on! So to everyone that had this happen to them, you know what I mean!
This is from the song......
Hate me by...
Blue October.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • cbsbecm88
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very beautiful! it's a nice way to break up! i personally enjoyed these lines:Magnets that deserve to be together, always and forever.
    You know what I mean, baby, don't try to hide it. I know you want what we used to have.
    I like the idea of the magnets, turn them the wrong way and they don't go together! very nice!

    Title-9.5 great title! it says it all!

    Flow-8.5 didn't rhyme but very nice flow overall!

    Rules-9 like i said, didn't rhyme but fine other than that!

    Creativity-9 very creative and beautiful! i like the way you switched around the way you set up your stanzas!

    Song-9.5 an original break up song! what's not to love?! great spin on it!

    Total-45.5

    Thanks so much and good luck!


  • Nicada silver member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and touching. A tribute to young and innocent love. Nice job. Blessings, Patty
    PS...you may want to change your entry here because it's only for rhyming poems.


  • Trill - Trickle
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanx!!!


  • Angierie
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh yes I know exactly what you mean!!
    No worries.. all will work out

    thanks much for the entry!!!!

    Fabulous!