somewhere
between
the dusk
on your jaw
and the rise
of the moon
there was
a moment
when I thought
you were this guy I knew
he used to sing love songs
with made-up words
looked just like you
Author notes
abstract moments
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest 10 entries 30 to 40 words #13 by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended October 17, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I don't know what else to say except for...
This hurt. A lot.
Almost made me cry.
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i love it... it is sweet and mysterious. really nice work, bffl!
"somewhere between the dusk on your jaw and the rise
of the moon..." that is my favorite line in the fabutasticness of your poem =)
wonderful!
hugglez! =) <3
-Adria/ xtremely-confizzled
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"the dusk
on your jaw'
I love that & I love made-up words to love songs...this is wonderful, congrats!=)
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learning... learning... ( I hope)
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Wonderful! Deeply written in simplicity...a moment in time that is a flash back in memories...wither it was that person or not...creative and intriguing...nicely done...
thank you for entering...
mystic -
wow i love this i mean just overall in so little words you told a story
good luck in the contest -
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thank you
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Excellent. You have a talent for writing what appears to be simple poetry only to find that there is a great depth to your words and a certain universality to your concepts. You make it look easy, but that is the hardest thing of all.
Well done.
Garrison
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thank you
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