Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Unforgivable

I'll remember that one day
For quite some time, I guess
Since that's the day when my life changed;
You made my life a mess

I came to help with chores
To do what you could not
I didn't ask for payment,
Nor wanted what I got

When the chores were done,
I stood and stretched my arm
Although I didn't know it then,
That move would cause me harm

You just stood and watched me
But when my stretch was through
You told me to stretch out once more
Confused, I obeyed you

My father became outraged
And my mother was in shock
They took me out without a word
And said that in the car, we'd talk

They told me what had happened
And why we left so fast
I didn't want to hear it said
For I knew the pain would last

Now, you may think it minor
That "no harm had been done"
But all the tears and all the pain
Seems too much harm to one

I do not want to see you
You treated me like dirt
It's more than just that incident
That fills me up with hurt

I'll loath you for that night
You turned my life around
Where there was once such happiness
Depression can be found

I wish you'd go away
And vanish from my life
For if I see your face again
The day will end in strife

Author notes

Everything that needs to be said is in the poem, I think. (yes, this one coincides with "Hurt")

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Baisi
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, I like this, it's, well, I'm speechless really. I don't get exactly what happened, but I can tell it caused you a lot of pain and hurt. Great poem, though I'm sorry you've felt this way.


    • rayraystingray23
      November 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks =) it was just something that someone in my family did to me, that was way out of line, so...yeah
      thanks again =)

      ~Chel


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    much respect I give to you, for allowing this anger, hurt,
    (and the guilt which is always unfounded.)..to fearlessly pour out of your ink
    and heart.

    I truly know how hard this is to do....I'm honored that
    you chose this contest to speak it all out.
    Keep it up......you just may be surprised, how many
    others know exactly how you feel....and we the many,
    have chosen to not allow this guilt, anger and pain
    to devour the rest of our lives....
    I was so betrayed by another, that years later,
    he confronted me and asked....do you still HATE ME?
    and I replied...
    with a piercing look..."I have given you..to my God...
    and now...You are HIS problem to DEAL with!
    for hell just couldn't get the job done,
    and demanded too much of my soul.

    You are his problem, now!
    and for some odd reason....
    I didn't feel overwhelmed by memories,
    and any words of his just repelled off my soul
    and reflected clearly the pig of a man in him.

    ears/Seattle
    well done!
    let your ink scrape it all out..until you are ready
    to truly let those scabs heal.


    • rayraystingray23
      November 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much!
      I think that's a very good response to have given the boy that hurt you. and thanks for sharing that with me, because I know you didn't have to.
      I am thinking about confronting the person, but everytime I run into him somewhere, my eyes start to water and the memories and hate flood into my mind. I try not to let it overwhelm me, but I think that the fact that someone in my family did this to me is what is making it hard to forget.
      thanks again =)

      ~Rachel =)

  • Judith Chandler
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "No harm was done". That is how people rationalize the kind of "minor" incident that is left to our imagination here. But a lot of harm can be done,partly because people don't think it's worth talking about and it becomes a heavy secret.

    I hope you do not let it overwhelm your life.
    jjj


    • cbsbecm88
      November 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hey jjj! so i respect what you had to say about my friends poem here but we are commenting on the poetry here and not how well people are dealing with there personal problems. i don't think you have any idea what happened so you can't call it minor or say it's to the imagination! i think this poem is very well written and in no way signifies a phsycopath! ok...um please don't take offense to this i was just saying! haha umm thanks for the friendly advice (to my friend i mean hehe)

      • Judith Chandler
        November 1, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Surely the content is an unavoidable part of any poem and your friend himself didn't object to my comments. I think you should let him speak for himself.

        Just a matter of opinion. I think he was brave to speak about it and should accept the fact that there will be coments of various kinds. I think my comment was a favourable one.

        • rayraystingray23
          November 2, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          ok, let's please not start a fight or anything here. ok well, i do appreciate your advice, jjj. and i appreciate the comment by you too, cat. cat's comment wasn't to take offense by, she was just trying to say (at least what i think she was trying to say) was that this page is meant to comment on the poem, and if you would like to talk to me about my dealings with my problem, if you could please message me instead of commenting about it on my poem page. she was just looking out for me, and i thank you for that, cat.
          i do understand that there will be comments of different kinds, and i appreciate them, including yours, jjj. but if they involve how i am dealing with the issue spoken about in my poem, please message me to talk.
          i do appreciate both of your comments, so thanks for them.

          ~Rachel

          ps- just saying, i am girl =P

    • rayraystingray23
      October 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yeah...I recently opened up about it to my close friends, and one of them completely disregarded it...
      I'm trying not to let it take over, but especially with recent events (like the one I just mentioned) it's getting really hard...
      thanks =)

  • cbsbecm88
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i'm really sorry for reading this rachel! but i mean it's a really good poem! but it kinda makes me nervous! if you don't want to tell me that's fine but i'm just a little worried about it...

    • rayraystingray23
      October 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      it's ok just like I said, please, please, PLEASE do not tell any adults or anyone that hasn't read it about it or i will be in SOOO much trouble...=\
      don't be nervous, i'm fine. i just have to try not to think about it that much. thanks for your concern, though =)


  • samantha jean
    October 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very honest and emotional.
    Good write, and good luck in my contest.

1 - 13 of 13